I apologize for not blogging lately but as you can imagine, life has been crazy. Between work, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, work it has been crazy.
Today I find myself working but also reflecting on the time of year. It is funny how spending lots of money takes precedence this time of year. I budgeted this year and put limits on gifts but I found myself competing right down to the last dollar to make sure everyone was even. I feel guilty I am not as extravagant as years past but lets see I have paid of my car, both of my credit cards and I am trying to sock away what I can for a condo. I have some priorities in life that have to take a front seat to Christmas and as much as I hate it I have to do it. I am trying so hard not to spend and go crazy and it is hard. I never remember it being this way as a child. Do presents seem to get bigger as we get bigger? Do we feel the need to spend more and buy more just because we are growing up? I love getting and receiving presents, so don't get me wrong but when did we inflate everything? Why does it seem harder to find gifts for people when we are all older? I am the hard person to buy for because I love opening up boxes but seriously, how many people know my size to buy me clothes!!!
With the craziness of last minute shopping today I wish everyone finds that perfect gift, spreads cheer to the one behind them in line whether in the parking lot or at the cash register and I wish you all a very merry holiday with your loved ones. I think it would take a recession to put the true meaning of Christmas back in our lives but I wish that every year you find that perfect gift for those on your list and you always don't go into debt because of it. From someone who likes to shop, ok loves to shop, I am learning going into debt is not necessary and the guilt does fall away.
Merry Christmas, be safe.
~xoxo
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Trimming the Tree
I am sorry for the long time in between posts but it was a hard week to find inspiration. Work is driving me insane.
This weekend found me doing some Christmas shopping and staying warm and indoors during a Sunday storm. Tonight after a bowl of homemade chicken soup I found myself pouring a glass of res, turning on the radio to holiday music and trimming our tree. We bought it last week and found time to put the star and lights on midweek and we thought maybe no decorations. The tree, white lights and gold star looked elegant but I was in the spirit to do more. Max laid on the couch, I trimmed the tree, we sang and then when I decided enough ornaments we snuggled on the couch wrote out Christmas cards.
I have to admit I have been in a forced holiday mood. More truer this time than last year but still forced. Something about this weeks snow storms helped put me in the spirit of this time of year. Funny because I sometimes think of moving to a warmer climate, but yet this year the snow helped make the mood...
I think part of my delay for the mood is my parents are older and still do some decorating but they don't do as much as when my sister, cousin and I were younger. They don't do the lights, rush to do the decorations, etc. It all comes when they find time and because I am living at their home right now it isn't exactly like I can take over. Next year I hope to be all healed and in my own place in which I can decorate my tree, string up lights, play carols during dinner, trim my tree, host a party, and most of all enjoy the holiday. I will find my way back to a happy holiday spirit some day but know little by little I am working on it.
Do you find it harder as you get older or are in certain circumstances to be in the spirit?
This weekend found me doing some Christmas shopping and staying warm and indoors during a Sunday storm. Tonight after a bowl of homemade chicken soup I found myself pouring a glass of res, turning on the radio to holiday music and trimming our tree. We bought it last week and found time to put the star and lights on midweek and we thought maybe no decorations. The tree, white lights and gold star looked elegant but I was in the spirit to do more. Max laid on the couch, I trimmed the tree, we sang and then when I decided enough ornaments we snuggled on the couch wrote out Christmas cards.
I have to admit I have been in a forced holiday mood. More truer this time than last year but still forced. Something about this weeks snow storms helped put me in the spirit of this time of year. Funny because I sometimes think of moving to a warmer climate, but yet this year the snow helped make the mood...
I think part of my delay for the mood is my parents are older and still do some decorating but they don't do as much as when my sister, cousin and I were younger. They don't do the lights, rush to do the decorations, etc. It all comes when they find time and because I am living at their home right now it isn't exactly like I can take over. Next year I hope to be all healed and in my own place in which I can decorate my tree, string up lights, play carols during dinner, trim my tree, host a party, and most of all enjoy the holiday. I will find my way back to a happy holiday spirit some day but know little by little I am working on it.
Do you find it harder as you get older or are in certain circumstances to be in the spirit?
Monday, December 10, 2007
Phone Numbers
Here is the question of the day? Think about it and look for a post from me tomorrow on it.
If all of the numbers fell out of you phone book (or deleted from your cell phone) whose would you look for first and why?
My Complicated Love Life
I promised I would get to this post. My love life is certainly complicated and I definitely make it that way. If I could just say no and cut people out of my life I would be better, but nope... can't do.
Chris has been in and out of my life for 5 + years now. He and I both agree what we have is sooo unorthodox but we can't let go. We started as work friends and then worked our way into work friends with benefits and those benefits expanded. Us and a bottle of wine... you know what was coming. That's even when we were dating other people... somehow we found an escape from our lives with each other. I have tried to end it but we just don't last long apart.
S is just S. I wouldn't call him a love interest but we certainly have our own interesting story. Him not being ready, me not being ready (literally) and then us going back and forth between the song and dance of phone calls, dinners, lunches, etc. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy that part of the relationship but sometimes I wonder where we are going, if anywhere. Maybe that is the girl in me but I truly like having S in my life. He makes me smile and challenges me to be a better, more relaxed person. Similar to Chris but there is more of an innocence with S.
Matt, well do I need to go there??? A year long boyfriend with benefits relationship... he has a house, a Range Rover, a house, friends I adored to some extent, a cousin I hated and dated and oh, yea um the benefits. There was nothing better than the benefits of dating Matt but we were at home bf and gf, we never went out in public... Don't ask but sometimes I enjoyed the benefits so much I didn't mind that there was someone else pining for him he never truly got rid of in the first place. It was nice to know that she was younger and not as mature in some respects. We played house on the weekends, hosting parties and cleaning up after them - we were almost married!!!
And then there is Steve. 12 + years older and I adore him. There is a history there too but things are changing now that he has found someone. And for that I am happy. But we had some good times.
There are more but those are the guys who truly can time stamp my brain and I will never ever forget. I would love to find a mix of all 4 men, while all very different they all have a way of making me feel like the only person in the room and in their direct view. They help me to relax and unwind, have a little fun. Some like to have me dress up and take me out, others prefer quiet nights as home. Me... I am ok with both but I do want someone who can handle a night of dress up every once in a while. I do hold every guy I date up to a version of Chris and S. They are two very different yet very similar guys and they deserve to be held up for standards for my future guy.
So maybe it is partly me for my being single but I couldn't imagine things any differently. Someday it will all work out.
~xoxo
Chris has been in and out of my life for 5 + years now. He and I both agree what we have is sooo unorthodox but we can't let go. We started as work friends and then worked our way into work friends with benefits and those benefits expanded. Us and a bottle of wine... you know what was coming. That's even when we were dating other people... somehow we found an escape from our lives with each other. I have tried to end it but we just don't last long apart.
S is just S. I wouldn't call him a love interest but we certainly have our own interesting story. Him not being ready, me not being ready (literally) and then us going back and forth between the song and dance of phone calls, dinners, lunches, etc. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy that part of the relationship but sometimes I wonder where we are going, if anywhere. Maybe that is the girl in me but I truly like having S in my life. He makes me smile and challenges me to be a better, more relaxed person. Similar to Chris but there is more of an innocence with S.
Matt, well do I need to go there??? A year long boyfriend with benefits relationship... he has a house, a Range Rover, a house, friends I adored to some extent, a cousin I hated and dated and oh, yea um the benefits. There was nothing better than the benefits of dating Matt but we were at home bf and gf, we never went out in public... Don't ask but sometimes I enjoyed the benefits so much I didn't mind that there was someone else pining for him he never truly got rid of in the first place. It was nice to know that she was younger and not as mature in some respects. We played house on the weekends, hosting parties and cleaning up after them - we were almost married!!!
And then there is Steve. 12 + years older and I adore him. There is a history there too but things are changing now that he has found someone. And for that I am happy. But we had some good times.
There are more but those are the guys who truly can time stamp my brain and I will never ever forget. I would love to find a mix of all 4 men, while all very different they all have a way of making me feel like the only person in the room and in their direct view. They help me to relax and unwind, have a little fun. Some like to have me dress up and take me out, others prefer quiet nights as home. Me... I am ok with both but I do want someone who can handle a night of dress up every once in a while. I do hold every guy I date up to a version of Chris and S. They are two very different yet very similar guys and they deserve to be held up for standards for my future guy.
So maybe it is partly me for my being single but I couldn't imagine things any differently. Someday it will all work out.
~xoxo
Updates...
I am so sorry it has been quiet from me, I am fighting an awful cold!!! I woke up Thursday not feeling well and by Thursday night I was a miserable, stuffy mess. I found myself at work Friday, I know infecting my coworkers, but I needed to save my sick days for my surgery. I came home Friday night and went to bed after some texting to S and then conked out for most of the night. Ok, not most of, every 2 hours after 10 p.m. I was up to blow my nose, cough up a lung and get more vicks and vaseline... trying not to look the part of Rudolph just yet! Anyway, it didn't get any better over the weekend so Saturday and Sunday were the same but on the couch with my little pup. Thank goodness for living with my 'rents right now... I would not have had medicine, fluids or soup if it wasn't for them. I am ok with being 27 and still being taken care of.
Back to the daily grind today and trying to eat as healthy as I can to keep my body healthy but darn that 1/2 donut and muffin!!! Where did they come from, I never even saw them enter my mouth!!!
My parents got our tree yesterday. I was so bummed I didn't go but I was sick and um, well my leg wouldn't hold up well in a tree farm anyways. I love Christmas and I love it even more when I can decorate and take part, so looks like I am the decorating queen this year. I still haven't gone shopping, maybe I can convince S to come with for a while. That's a big maybe but he didn't do any shopping yet either... Actually dinner and a movie would work for me.
As for the love life... no improvement and I promise to write more about it as I said in last post... I can say Chris is back with the ex, I think this makes it 5 times they have gotten back together. When you are in a relationship that screwy I think it is stupid but you must deserve each other...
My wish for Christmas... someone to spend time with that I truly like and enjoy spending time with. Someone who knows me well enough to stand me for a few hours, someone who can hold a conversation with me, someone who will watch out for me when my foot hurts but would be willing to take a slow walk with me around the block even though my foot will hurt after, someone just willing to be a good friend. Sure, the fairy tale of the perfect guy is still there somewhere in my head but I don't know about the fairy tale right now, I just know I want to be happy.
~xoxo
Back to the daily grind today and trying to eat as healthy as I can to keep my body healthy but darn that 1/2 donut and muffin!!! Where did they come from, I never even saw them enter my mouth!!!
My parents got our tree yesterday. I was so bummed I didn't go but I was sick and um, well my leg wouldn't hold up well in a tree farm anyways. I love Christmas and I love it even more when I can decorate and take part, so looks like I am the decorating queen this year. I still haven't gone shopping, maybe I can convince S to come with for a while. That's a big maybe but he didn't do any shopping yet either... Actually dinner and a movie would work for me.
As for the love life... no improvement and I promise to write more about it as I said in last post... I can say Chris is back with the ex, I think this makes it 5 times they have gotten back together. When you are in a relationship that screwy I think it is stupid but you must deserve each other...
My wish for Christmas... someone to spend time with that I truly like and enjoy spending time with. Someone who knows me well enough to stand me for a few hours, someone who can hold a conversation with me, someone who will watch out for me when my foot hurts but would be willing to take a slow walk with me around the block even though my foot will hurt after, someone just willing to be a good friend. Sure, the fairy tale of the perfect guy is still there somewhere in my head but I don't know about the fairy tale right now, I just know I want to be happy.
~xoxo
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
What a Week!!!!
What a week and it is only Wednesday. I am amazed at how many times people try to knock me down in a week, especially those above me. I admit to buckling a little under the pressure, I don't give up but I go and vent to the people who need to know and then go about my own thing. I can't cater to people I don't trust nor do I choose to trust and frankly I shouldn't have to. I do my job and I do it very well and I am always open for ways to do better or take constructive criticism but sometimes what i get is not constructive criticism, it is down right rudeness and jealousy frankly.
My horoscope told me today I am on fire, and everyone who knows me well - it won't be a surprise how good I am but to those who don't they will say "who is that girl?" Gotta love reading something like that in the AM when you aren't sure you want to roll out of bed. I can't say I honestly believe and follow 100% what my horoscope says but I do read it daily during the week. I like to see what the supposed stars say and what actually happens during the day. Sometimes it is right on, others not so much. The area that tends not to be right is my love life, but even I can forgive the stars. I am somewhat complicated in that area.
OK, I have to run but I will get into my complicated love life a little more later... in the meantime...
~xoxo ;-)
My horoscope told me today I am on fire, and everyone who knows me well - it won't be a surprise how good I am but to those who don't they will say "who is that girl?" Gotta love reading something like that in the AM when you aren't sure you want to roll out of bed. I can't say I honestly believe and follow 100% what my horoscope says but I do read it daily during the week. I like to see what the supposed stars say and what actually happens during the day. Sometimes it is right on, others not so much. The area that tends not to be right is my love life, but even I can forgive the stars. I am somewhat complicated in that area.
OK, I have to run but I will get into my complicated love life a little more later... in the meantime...
~xoxo ;-)
Monday, December 3, 2007
Weekend Recap
This weekend was not overly eventful. I had a holiday dinner at the college for the graduate students. Lots of wine, socializing and and networking again for me. Although this time I was on my feet for a good 4+ hours... not so fun!
Saturday found me up early for a massage which was def. needed, there was even some snow on the ground!!! It was so nice and relaxing. Then I went running errands with my mom, literally gone with her for 4+ hours. Then came home, showered, activated mom's new cell phone and went out with G and some ladies from work. We went to watch John play, the John Manzi Band. Had lots of drinks and fun... I was even dancing a bit! (I didn't wear my cast)
Woke up late Sunday and laid on the couch napping all morning. I did finally move and run a few errands in the afternoon - Starbucks, Verizon, Old Navy and the car store. When I got back around 3 I napped a little more, dancing one night and not feeling pain means feeling it the next day! Oh well, I was happy to have fun and feel 'normal' for a minute or two.
So nothing too exciting as you can tell. Last week was a busy week with different events or plans every night, this week will be quieter and needed because next week gets busy again!
~xoxo
Saturday found me up early for a massage which was def. needed, there was even some snow on the ground!!! It was so nice and relaxing. Then I went running errands with my mom, literally gone with her for 4+ hours. Then came home, showered, activated mom's new cell phone and went out with G and some ladies from work. We went to watch John play, the John Manzi Band. Had lots of drinks and fun... I was even dancing a bit! (I didn't wear my cast)
Woke up late Sunday and laid on the couch napping all morning. I did finally move and run a few errands in the afternoon - Starbucks, Verizon, Old Navy and the car store. When I got back around 3 I napped a little more, dancing one night and not feeling pain means feeling it the next day! Oh well, I was happy to have fun and feel 'normal' for a minute or two.
So nothing too exciting as you can tell. Last week was a busy week with different events or plans every night, this week will be quieter and needed because next week gets busy again!
~xoxo
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