DJ Corrupt

DJ Corrupt - what can I say but an amazing guy and a great friend.

When you listen to the radio, go to a club, a bar, party, etc. you are almost always listening to a DJ but have you ever thought about what type of profession these guys have? Some, like my brother, do it for fun and make a couple hundred or grand a weekend, others do this professionally and make over 100 grand. My friend DJ Corrupt aka the Pretty Boy does this for a living and is amazing. Originally from Brooklyn he spends his quiet time in the Berkshires in MA and travels for his work, loving the warmer climates.

Take a check at his web site - http://www.myspace.com/djcorrupttheprettyboy.

This is really the first time I have mentioned him because it's been a while since we spoke. We all know when I broke my ankle and lived a miserable existence for 6 months pre-surgery I didn't speak to most of my friends because I didn't want the pity... how stupid I know now. Anyway I met DJ Corrupt years ago on a wknd excursion to the Berkshires and fate had a funny way of settling in with us. I was more interested in his friend but DJ Corrupt was persistent and what won me over was he somehow managed to get my number and the second I got onto the Turnpike to drive home he called me. Minus some dead spots we talked the entire way home, a good hour, and even after. He would drive down, take me out, we would talk about me, about him, his job, his passions. We could go on and on for hours and that was fine with me. Somehow we just got each other and as years passed our friendship stayed but our conversation and visits came and went, like it always does with friends as a distant.

So today we find ourselves back in familiar territory and me as usual being the nice person I am and willing to help him get his web sites updated, his tour back on track and offer suggestions. I have the chance to work on my passion, event planning and PR and help a friend. Works for me.
~xoxo

Updates

Hi All,
It's been a while I know but I have lots of updates for you.

First, the Facebook Flirter has cost me $67 in charges on my phone because he is not in the same phone plan and he texts me more than I ever talked to my sister in 6 months!!!! And he is still a wee bit of a stalker.

Second, I had another interview and it went well. Got a call back too!!!! Let's keep our fingers crossed.

The same night as the interview I went to a beer tasting where I met D.M. He was cute, nice, talkative and interested. He came with us to our bar after and then we went our separate ways but I spoke to him the next day. We had drinks the next night. He is a little too into PDAs which isn't awful but all over me in the bar... and we didn't know each other very well... He has a little problem - not a good dresser. And I am not sure how to handle it - jeans rolled and work boots... I don't know. We were supposed to go to dinner last night but I didn't want to go... he was in his damn jeans and boots again and me, well I was in a little black dress. Is it too much to ask for to find a decent dresser, good kisser, someone interested in me and can talk about more than his work??? Maybe I am picky and for that I feel snotty. Am I an awful person???

Third, in between meeting D.M. and the "date" I was in Lake George and had an amazing time. The boating, the sun, relaxing, hanging with friends - all what I needed and more. I love it up there, just amazing and breathtaking. To be in miles of water with mountains all around... perfect harmony. I would love to be up there in the winter watching a storm roll in on the lake.

Fourth, I am talking to my favorite guy of all time... even over the puppy. John is the best in my book. A little sensitive, a little lost and looking for direction, masculine (protected me during a bar brawl), very good looking, works in the entertainment business so no story is ever boring, just an amazing guy. I haphazardly met him years ago when I was on a mini vaca in the Berkshires and every few years we get together and connect. Well I did the connection this time after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. A character reminded me of him so I called. In his line of working he is going through a rough patch so I volunteered my free time to help him. I love what I am going to help him with so why not... and he is letting me. I know he has a huge respect for me as a woman and as a professional. He has always liked me and the curves of my body and is willing to do anything to spend time with me. One time he came out and we went for dinner and drove through the Christmas spectacular in the local park after. We did very little and yet had lots of fun. We can talk for hours and the same thing - good conversation, good friends and good drink. He would truly be one I would say 'when the next girl breaks your heart look me up.'

Ok, that's all for now. I promise to keep up more now.
~xoxo

Facebook and Flirting

Just when I thought I was done with men something seemed to happen. I was on my Facebook account and came across a few upperclassmen from my high school days, actually more like my sister's days because they were gone when I got there. Naturally, I added them. Well one decided to email me. He wanted to know if we went to high school together because he thought he knew me but couldn't place me. So I somewhat explained who I was and then we started talking - IM on Facebook. We talked for a bit and then agreed to talk again. And that again was last night. We talked through dinners and TV programs, me planning out a spin class and watch Saving GM on CNBC. That was interesting - I would buy GM now... Ok, back to Facebook B... we talked a lot and agreed to get together for a beer next time he is in town. He lives in RI but thought about coming back today for his day off and to see his mom.

Well after I taught at the gym I decided to go shopping with my mom and gram. Sure enough I got an email from Facebook B - cause all we had was email - he was gonna be in town. I never got that email until 7:30 tonight after shopping and teaching another class. Ooops!!! I emailed him back on Facebook but don't know where he is.

Here is a few stats, 30 or 31 so he is older and hopefully a little more mature. Still plays soccer and coaches for a college, wants to start his own soccer camp, works a full time job so he sounds decent. The thing that gets me is he went to school with my sis and he and I are chatting now... gotta love it! Partly because I think they didn't talk all that much, she was a shy little thing in her younger days. So here goes some Facebook flirting, guess you never know who you may find and where.
~xoxo

Done With Men

Ok, well this is partly true. I have decided to be done with Match. com. I have had nothing but no luck with that site. I am also done with Singles.net as well. Both offered a lot of the same men and that made me realize they could see me on both sites too and therefore I look just as desperate, which I am not. I am looking for someone yes because I would like to have a relationship, a good, healthy one in my life but I don't need it. I have amazing friends who yes have their own lives, kids, husbands, etc. but they are there for me when I need them. I am also realizing I am comfortable in my own skin.

I am taking on a new mantra - "walk with confidence." This was definitely something I repeated multiple times when at the yacht club the other day and in my suit. I neglected to put my cover up on to walk to the Ladies room. I just kept repeating my mantra and guess what someone apparently noticed and he and I started talking. He seemed nice and we talked for a bit but then it was time to go. I think I am getting rusty flirting though because this is twice my friend said "um, hello he wanted your number..." Ok, I missed that twice... I am apparently off my game!!!

I also said "goodbye" to all of my 'buddies' minus one. I left one out there, just in case but I am trying to turn a new leaf. I watched The Holiday the other night, again, and am finally starting to realize a line in that movie is soooo true. There is an older gentleman who tells Kate Winslet's character "in life there are leading ladies and best friends. You my dear are a leading lady who acts like a best friend." Light bulb finally goes off... that is DEFINITELY me. I am definitely the best friend. I get the late night calls, the random texts to come over or 'the sex is on a hiatus, what do i do' and then come over or let's go out. I can't do that anymore. I like my fun and part of me left one guy on there because I know I can control that situation. I can come and go as a I please and I don't get the calls or messages from him asking for help with another girl, like all the rest. I can't be your best friend with benefits anymore - done with that!!!

That said, it can make the nights somewhat lonely and quiet when I have no plans. But since when do I need a guy to validate my night and keep me happy??? Temporary validation is good but permanent is best!

So here's to my next chapter in dating and life. A little more soul searching this time will hopefully help.
~xoxo

Best Buy

Here is my gripe for the day...

I purchased an external hard drive cover from Best Buy to transfer files from my old computer onto my new laptop. My new computer has Microsoft Vista and the hard drive I bought said Vista compatible. I was not helped at all and it took me some time to find someone who could help and he then confirmed this product would work. It did not. I asked some of the guys I know who work with computers to help me thinking I did something wrong. The hard drive did not work at all for us. I put it aside and realized I still needed to return it. I looked at the receipt which mentioned within 30 days I would get a full refund with receipt. I assumed I could still return the product yet Best Buy said no. Nowhere on the return policy in the store, on the receipt or online does it say you cannot return after 30 days. I even called the Customer Relations department who said they do not accept after 30 days but every store is different and some may have given me a gift card for the amount instead. This was not the case. They also said there is a Trade-In site where I can enter the product and they would give me a refund amount. If I accepted it I could mail the product back and get a gift card, yet the product isn’t listed. I emailed and heard nothing yet. So now I am stuck with something I can’t use but why is it every store may handle a return differently? I purchased the product in Enfield, CT. If I went to Holyoke I could have gotten a different outcome??

Not a fan of Besy Buy at all!!!! Boycotting!!!

Update

It's been a long time since I have been on here. Sorry!!! Life has been crazy. A few dates, a few job interviews and a lot of boating and relaxing. Some mentoring and guidance along the way made the past few weeks enjoyable. I had some moments where I broke down and lost it. I was alone on a Friday night, jobless and just did not feel like my life was right. I knew better but needed a good cry and it helped. So did Steve, from London he took the time to check on me and make me realize everything would be ok.

I had a not so great interview and then a really good one. We shall see what comes from it all and keep plugging away at a job. The kids, Elizabeth and CJ, are away for the beginning of the week so I am not "on call" for them and rides. Not that I mind, I enjoy it. I like feeling helpful.

Just this weekend, Jo and I lived it up. Boating on Friday, dinner and then Chris took us to our bar later that night. Gotta love a designated driver and a friend who owns a bar. Thanks Dave!!! :-) Anyway we drank, did shots, I drank some more, danced and then when 2 a.m. rolled around we waited to close up and then we went with Dave for breakfast. I haven't done a 3 a.m. breakfast trip in forever. Love it! But crawling into bed at 4:15 and then up 5 hours later was a slight killer. But being able to sleep on the boat was nice and just added to my tan. Today was a killer... slept and relaxed a lot due to lack of sleep for 48 hours and a lot of drinking. I am very blessed to have some of the friends I have.

I have also come to the realization that I needed to let go of some of the guys in my life, like men. I needed to move on and let go and also realize I don't need to keep a string of guys for a "late night" call. Yeah it is nice but it is but I deserve better than that and I am smarter than that. So times are a changing for me. I am lucky again to have friends looking out for me and willing to tell me to my face things need to change. As it was some friends couldn't believe I was still friends with all of my 6 ex boyfriends... hey you never know who you need around!!! ;-)

Time to grow up and move on with life. Here's to a new chapter!
~xoxo

So You Think You Can Dance and More...

You do huh??? That's what I thought. I am so happy for summer again because one of my fav obsessions is on... LOVE IT!!! As you all know I have some time off from the work force and I am all about taking some dance classes... however when did my brain think I can walk right in in heels and do me "So You Think You Can Dance" moves. Although I am guessing I will have a better time this summer dancing than last... no cast yippee!!

As for my spare time when I am not glued to watching my fav TV program... I have been doing the job search, I have been perfecting my tan (and oh yeah, looking good!!!), and spending some time with Matt. OMG... had the most incredible time with him. Hard to believe it is just shy of fours years since I met him and three since we got together. We have certainly had our ups and downs and will continue too. Sometimes I think we are best at being "special" friends and that's ok with me. With him I do things I have never done before and I am ok with that and he is ok with me if I can't do something right away because of fear. He is probably the one guy in my life I am not worried to be with. I don't care if I gained five pounds, lost five pounds, hair is out of place, shirt it too low, outfit not right... I don't care about any of that. Of course we all like to look good for any man but he has seen me at my most vulnerable... tears streaming down my face and getting me through a funeral... all while he cried too. How sweet??!!! I am content with him but for us to actually date in the future... not sure about it. I think there are some guys you can be "friends" with like B.L. but then you can't always turn that "friends" status into a real dinner conversation. Matt is on the line with that.

OMG... and B.L. - driving even me insane. More moody than me some days. He does have some big golf tourneys coming up and that is weighing on him but OMG... booty texts with a girlfriend!!! Seriously, I can handle the text messages but with a girlfriend, call her... not me. Now I can't judge because I was the other woman with Matt... different and long story though... B.L. and I went out a few times but we weren't dating. He met this other girl and they are dating, yet we still go for coffee, drinks, talk almost every day multiple times a day... just weird. And sometimes the booty text comes in... love it! Honestly he is a great guy and a good friend and I am glad we met, we get each other on so many levels... scary!

I leave you with this thought however - with the roughly 6 guys I have dated or "seen" in the past 6 years - good friends in some way, shape or form with 5 of them. And if the number seems low... I didn't add in the one nighters who after meeting them I wanted to die... these are just the guys that made more than three dates or longer!!! How does this happen??? How many exes are you still friends with - like can call at the drop of the hat and get together with??? Yeah that'd be me!
~xoxo

My Life Update

Hey all,
Sorry it's been a while. I need to remember to tell my brain I am not on a vacation... although sometimes I wish it was. So yes, my life has been low key - gym, pool, tanning, fun, drinking, drinking, fun, drinking... yeah a little more drinking than normal because I am not working. I did have a blind date mixed in. Apparently I scared him away because he never called. We spoke for a few hours a couple nights before we met. I had an interview last week and thought it was good so went out for a glass of wine after. Well he met me there. He was cranky - he pulled a muscle in his arm earlier in the week, kind of quiet and I could tell that. I did what I could but when he gave me the up and down look a few times I knew I couldn't fix that. Well hello, you weren't "mr. hottie" yourself!!! Oh well, I paid the tab - which I wanted too it was my $20 to his $6. Anyway when he offered me five bucks I was like "keep your five, I can afford this." SERIOUSLY!!!

So he ran out of there to never be heard from again! Apparently I look to damn good all dressed in a suit for him. His loss!!!

The 4th found me with Lo and her family. We did the fireworks the night before. Grape vodka and grape soda... new fav drink. Then late to bed, ok so I saw Chris and hung with him for bit, but then early to rise for a parade on the 4th in which yes I did drink again by 10:30 a.m. It was a little rainy but fun. Post parade I came home, changed into some warm clothes and took a wee little nap. I was tired and needed to be ready for the evening parties - which I too survived.

Saturday brought the margaritas and Mexican in the cabana. I think my friend Jo has a good husband. One I like him anyways but the girls were in the cabana and he made sure we had chips and dip, drinks, quesidillas, smores and cookies later... hello!!! How sweet!!!

And alas yesterday brought some recovery and the Wimbledon final - poor Federer... I will console him. And of course family dinner meant a little more drinking, but only two beers!

That's it on me. What about you???
~xoxo

Office is Packed... A New Chapter Begins

I was let go last week but today it became final... my office and the past four years in now packed in four big boxes, actually not bad. Yes today my mom, best friend Sara and her two sisters and a cousin came to help me finalize my career with the school department. I am glad everyone was there, made it easier to say goodbye. Plus in an already hot building made it faster to get in and pack and get out. I can say I definitely won't miss the heat in that building... no air.

Sara and I both agreed it is a good thing... no more heat and hopefully on to air conditioning.

It was nice to see some faces in the building when I was there and how supportive they were of me. I am very lucky to have been blessed to work with some amazing people. But alas, that chapter is now closed and it is up to me to start my new and exciting chapter. And I will do that. I already have an interview on Friday. Thanks to all my friends and family for their love and support. I promise to make you all proud!
~xoxo

Putting Your Life in Perspective

Weekend was full of fun. Friday night drinking redheaded ho's - raspberry lambic and hoogarten - and Wii, Saturday was soccer and boating, sleep over and Sunday was Wii Rockband and more drinking. Loved every minute of it but it also put some things in perspective. My friend Jo is great at bargain shopping and saving money where she can so I mentally took some notes while I am now on a very limited budget. Like for one, didn't call to make a hair appt. to have my hair colored, I paid $8 and had her daughter lighten my hair today... savings - $125 or so.

I am not perfect and those who know me know I like the finer things in life but here it goes... I went to a financial advisor last week to get ideas on budgeting and saving for my future house, emergency fund, etc. and now I don't have an income... so maybe I do need to control my habits - shopping, shopping and Starbucks. The drinking... fairly low key when you can buy a 12 or 30 pack, spend nights at home with friends or go on the boat... so much cheaper than going out... which is a usual summer drink fest anyways... I learned a lot about friends and money this weekend when if you watched me all weekend you would have thought all I was doing was drinking and hanging with friends, but in reality so much more.

How lucky are you to have your friends??? I am very lucky and blessed.
~xoxo

Your Job is being Eliminated

Those are so not the words I wanted to hear yesterday. Yes it is true, yours truly is now jobless. Due to an organizational change my job has gone "bye-bye." Oh well, it will be a good thing for me. I was getting stressed, tired, over worked and wasn't sleeping or eating well. I was constantly fighting a battle every day and now I don't have to anymore. Maybe I am not the right person to have left but I was the one they chose and I have to accept that. I fought every day for what I believed and I wouldn't change a thing.

So this means more time to write for you all as I navigate my way through the job search. I already got up early, went to the gym and hit the ground running... literally. Change is a good thing... here's to change!
~xoxo

Happy Father's Day

To my dad and all dads out there... Happy Father's Day!!!!

Salespeople

Do I look like a typical girl??? Ok, maybe so but I know better. Mom and I went out looking for dryers last night and the sales woman at Sears was trying to sell us a decent dryer. Then she said well this one will get you the free delivery. But wait, 15 minutes later she said, actually you get 10% off the price and therefore with that you would have to pay for delivery, so this is the next one you can get. Then she calculated it and that was under the $399 free delivery price... what an idiot. She was trying to get the higher sale but she was trying to railroad us. I kept saying but you said, well you said... I am no fool. Don't forget a Public Relations degree means a degree in bullshit means I can sell you the White House or the Golden Gate Bridge. Hello!!! She tried but her technique was not smooth and I caught on real fast. Poor girl... lost a sale.

Oh darn... still shopping around!
~xoxo

Pear Martinis, Blue Motorcycles and Jewelry

Friday night found me with my MM girls. Kel had a jewelry party so I made my way to Jo's knowing if she and I went together we would have a designated driver... love it! So we had drinks in the cabana first and then headed down the hill to Kel's. There I continued to drink my new drink, a blue motorcycle leading me to buy almost $200 in jewelry. Not sure if that was alcohol induced but one can only hope!!!

Once the blue motorcycle was done I moved on to Pear Martinis, Kel's drink of the night. Then when everyone else left it was me, Jo, Kel, Susan and Jill. Elizabeth ended up babysitting for a woman who was at the party... score for her! So we were drinking and drinking and then oh, the hunger sets in... I call my ex Matt to get us food and in the meantime Jo's husband and Susan's husband come over. Susan and her husband leave, I move on to beer, and we are still hungry. Jo and her husband go and get food because Matt didn't come yet but then don't you know he showed... We all went to McDonald's and ended up with 10 cheeseburgers and fries for 5 people. Matt doesn't stay and I know he was hoping I would go home with him but oops... girl's night, sorry bud!

Elizabeth finally comes home and it is 1 a.m. Jo, Elizabeth and Kelly and I decided to have a sleep over at Kel's. I am sober at this point but tired!!! So I stay.

The next morning we all start moving around 9 a.m. By 9:30 Jo, Elizabeth and I make our way out. You know it was an awesome night when you walk out the next morning in the same clothes you came in, an empty cooler, a box full of empty beer bottles and a bag of left over McDonald's!!!

I am a Bad "Cousin"

Jim... Happy Belated birthday!!! I am so sorry but I just found out Wednesday was your birthday... :-(

P.S. Stay tuned for an exciting weekend recap!!!
~xoxo

A Little Motivation... Long Way???

As a slight follow up to my post about Lake George I was hoping a little motivation would go a long way. I witnessed while boating many boats with younger adults on them, maybe even my age. First off, how can they afford these nice boats which is bigger than ours???? Second, the girls in their bikinis were supposed to make me want to get back to working out full swing. Ok, so I have no quarrels with me getting on my bike for 50+ miles or going running, especially because I can run past a mile now. Ok, ok I know this seems silly but because of breaking my ankle I couldn't run for 1 year and now I have to readjust my body to running. I wish it was like riding a bike again but it isn't. I need my lungs to readjust.

Somewhere along the line though I lost my motivation to go to the gym. I know if I suck it up and just go I will be ok after a few days but when you work out as much as me and watch what you eat and don't lose... it stinks. Problem is, with my new found "finding m again" theme I need to do this. I was 30 pounds lighter before so I know I can do it... I just have to find that will within me again. Damn, I thought those bikini clad girls would do the trick!!! Although they certainly motivate you and they weren't stick thin at all, they were normal... I want normal!!!

Do you find it hard to find your motivation again???

P.S.

Ryan, If you are still checking this... HI!!! :-)

Back to Me

It's been a long few days followed by an amazing weekend to Lake George. OMG... I love that place. To be in a lake, on the boat surrounded by mountains... my favorite place, event beats the Cape! And we all know I love the Cape and the islands.

I know I promised to tell you all about my week last week but I am trying to move past it. My best friend Joanne and I had lots of wine Thursday night and we talked about the week that had just passed. Then she said "pack a bag, be here at 5 and away to the lake you go." I was so in!!! I went to work Friday, left a few minutes early to get the booze and we were on our way. Mudslides and some Blue Moon kept us content for the almost 3 hour drive and her husband was at the wheel so made it easy for us. We put the boat in, got the kids settled and away we went to bar hop via the boat.

Over Saturday and Sunday Jo and I talked work, future, fun, stress, everything that was bugging me but we talked on the edge of the boat, our feet in the water drinking beer among beer and regardless of the good buzz, the world seemed so much clearer and so did what I had to do.

I finished my resume and re-wrote my cover letter all with a smile on my face like Sandi said. She is right, when you are smiling somehow writing just comes easier. I have decided to actively pursue another job option because I can not deal with the drama in my office anymore. I checked my sanity at the door two years ago and regardless of my strength have gotten deeper and deeper, losing myself along the way. I can't do it anymore. I like being sane way more than not. The drinking thing is good but there is a problem when drinking lots brings clarity... the foggy head I much prefer when I want a buzz, not clarity.

So little by little this weekend has brought me back to me or at least seeing who me needs to be again. Thank goodness... it's time to have fun again!

P.S. the guys were good too! ;-)
~xoxo

A Prada Dress Has Never Broke My Heart Before

This is the favorite line in my new fav song Labels and Love by Fergie, the theme song for Sex And The City. I can't divulge everything now because it won't come out right but yesterday truly was a bad day. Between dealing with my brother the night before and getting reprimanded at work for something I can NOT take any credit for I am shut down. I am so unhappy and miserable it is pathetic. I didn't want to go shopping, drinking, etc. last night so you know it is bad. I even had someone tell me the Cycling director at the club quit, which should have made me ecstatic yet I just have no happy feelings right now. All I did was lay in bed and cry yesterday...

I shouldn't have to cry on my way into work... I promise to explain everything in detail but just keep me in your thoughts today.
~xoxo

Cosmos, Beer and a Fight with My Brother

As you can tell from the title of this post it wasn't a great night last night. Yes, I did have an amazing time with the cosmos and beer but then after my brother and I fought. Ok, so maybe I picked the fight but he deserved it!!!

After work a few of us from the office went downtown to Uno's to watch our co worker's band, drink and have dinner. That was the good part of the night. Ryan, our waiter, was great. I got two Bombay Sapphire cosmo glasses out of the night... and he knew and let it happen. Love it!!! It is always fun being with friends, have more friends/acquaintances show up and forgetting it is only a Monday night... oops! Probably had one too many drinks but I was feeling great... I didn't care.

The problem came when I sent a text to my brother to find out if he was still in town... yes, he was. He finally called me and was like I am down the street. So yours truly met him in the parking lot of Walgreens and laid into him. If you don't know my brother is what I can safely call a drug addict. He got addicted to pills and his girlfriend in Florida, where he lived, was no help. Well idiot wanted to move back up here I guess but not tell us. You also need to know my brother is not biologically my brother, he is my foster brother.

I so don't want him home because his family is so screwed up and no one can help him. He needs to get away from his drama momma, brother who just had a baby out of wedlock with someone he can't stand, his little sister who already had a 9 year old son and his twin sister who is probably the most normal but still has issues. And his dad... not too sure about him but he does say his dad is helping him. A former drug addict himself I guess.

I did probably what some therapists would not agree with and told him how I felt. He needed to leave the area, talk to me more, trust me and told him how upset I was he hasn't bothered to talk to me over the past year. I used to cover his butt with my parents, tell him everything about work, my love life, ask for advice and him vice versa and not over the past year. I told him I get he was screwed up but pick up a freakin' phone. After I wouldn't let it go for a while we finally started seeing progress and so at 1 a.m. I was content and went home to bed... only to wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work. Definitely not a gym morning.

So today I am a cross between tired, hungover, confused, cranky, and more tired. I almost called out but I have a few site visits and I needed to be there. Here's to hoping for a decent day!!!
~xoxo

Sex...

... And The City that is! Last night was amazing. Every bit of the girls night I could have asked for.

After a stressful three days at work I left the office 15 minutes early and went to the liquor store. I bought the bottle of Tequila so we can have the Bradshaw after we went to the movies. I showed up at Jo's house and Andrea and the rest of the girls came. We made cosmos for our pre-movie drink and even brought a sippy cup with us. Meeting more girls at the theatre there was about 20 of us who went to see the 6:30 showing of Sex And The City and OMG... it was amazing. We laughed, we cried and I was getting text messages via a vibrating phone... that was fun but not the real thing... ;-)

I was completely decked out in full Sex And City attire... gold, strappy heels and yes this was the first time I wore heels, wide leg jeans, a cute tan/gold low cut tank top (yes the girls were showing off a bit for the event), and gold jewelry.

After the movie most of the girls went out to dinner, Jo and I went back to her house as her daughter had friends over and they are all 16 yr. olds. We called another girlfriend, made the Bradshaw (which was the signature after party drink from the NYC premiere) and went out to the gazebo and drank, talked, laughed and had a great time.

Vodka and Tequila both did me well last night as did the show. I loved it and recommend every female to see it with their friends, it is totally worth the money. And splurge on some movie popcorn and get a soda too - go for the whole experience!!!

Victoria's Secret

Ok, how many emails do you get from Victoria's Secret??? I easily get at least one a day!!! Seriously that is at least 5 a week, if not more!!!! What are they becoming Macy's or Raymour & Flannigan and have a sale every other day???!!!

Photo Op

OMG... forgot to tell you I had the photo shoot with my surgeon - talk about uncomfortable... the camera men had us basically on top on one another. Dude... he is married and I was his patient, not lover! Anyway he did the shoot so sometime soon my article and photo will be the new highlight of Baystate Medical Center's marketing materials??? Ok, poster child??? Maybe newsletter??? When it's official I will post it up!

By the way he said the surgery on my ankle was a success, he was impressed with my progress in that I can run again (ok a mile but compared not not moving my foot for 9 months I will take it), biking 25-35 miles in a shot and teaching spinning. He also said I was going to be a topic of his round table discussion coming up soon too. I am going to be famous, or at least my OS Trigonum is! :-)
~xoxo

Another Club Visit Equals Interesting Times

First I have to give Ryan mad props to being a good sport for the post two days ago (see below) and who also read more than his post and kept quiet (or so I hope) about what he read. We all know which post I am talking about when I say Ryan works at the same club I do... But Ryan, a girl has to do what a girl has to do sometimes.

So as you may or may not know I stopped by the club after work today for a meeting, which never happened. But I did hang around for a bit and yes Ryan was there - how I know he read the blog. There was a whole bunch of us in the course of two hours in and out of the managers office... some for work, some for fun and some losers like me just hanging around and killing the time before I needed to head home! However, I am glad I stayed because the best line of the night came to fruition - in membership the saying goes a little something like "Service the members, each and every one." So last I knew membership was mostly male, if not all by now, and I want to know how these males are servicing the members and can I become one again???!!!! Am I missing out on something now that I am an instructor???!!! :-)

Ryan, you seem to like the saying so how is you service your members???

On another note, why is it everyone lately has had issues and trauma with the RMV??? I almost have to go there after getting pulled over by cops in the middle of a work day on a coffee run - thanks Mr. Officer for liking my cute face and saying the fact I work for the School Dept. is going to get me from not being towed, plus I bought him a coffee... oh and thanks for reminding me I can go online versus go to the RMV for what would be half of my life in the middle of the day!!

Ryan apparently had some issues there as well. I can't really remember the whole context of his story except he was trying to change his car registration from CT to MA and then his car stalled in front a liquor store... ok convenient can I say???? And in the middle of the day... He said he went in and got a beer and sat in the car for a good 25 minutes or so...all while never drinking the beer because he had to go to work after. Um, yeah right Ry!!! Just like I went to Uno's for lunch today, sat outside in the sun and didn't drink... oh wait, I didn't. Damn I knew I forgot something! ;-)

Anyway, if you want to be serviced or just have a good time go see Ryan to join the club that is!
Get your minds out of the gutter!!!

p.s. no major cleavage today while there!
~xoxo

My Awakening...Ok, Again ;-)

After my lovely time at the club, see post below, I went to meet with my fav professor Sandi. Sandi was going to help me review my resume and make it global and more marketable. I sat with her for an hour talking about my current job, my time at MM, what I want, what I like and when she interjected with such valuable information I felt myself kicking myself. I know, that last part sounds funny but think about the last time you wanted to kick yourself. I am listening to Sandi tell me things about marketing, positioning yourself, branding, etc. and all of the sudden a light bulb is going off in my head. I know this stuff - I know about branding, self promotion, etc.

I have my undergrad in Public Relations and Marketing... I know exactly what she is telling me. Why didn't I realize this already?? I started realizing I have lost, no not lost, pushed away my knowledge of PR and Marketing because my current role is more financial. I don't have a day to day use for PR/Marketing so I started storing it away in the back of my brain and Sandi unlocked that door. I can't hide from the realities of PR for too long, it is after all what I love and I am so thankful to Sandi for helping me unlock this door and helping me to realize I can't let my passion die or fade away just because my current role isn't ideal. I can't hide me or not be me... I can however continue to learn and enhance my PR/Marketing skills and incorporate what I can to any role I am in, even if not so apparent.

Thanks Sandi!
~xoxo

I Was Eating Steak And Got Stung By A Bee In My House

This is true but no it did not happen to me. I happened to pop over to the club this afternoon to meet with my manager and review a few things. On my way out I stopped by the office to get my stuff. Ryan, who works in membership, was sitting at a desk frequented by G.S. and so many membership consultants. Ryan Callan, his real name, was there with someone else and I happened to make a comment about how May will now just fade away with nothing exciting left as Memorial Day has come and gone.

In conversation about the weekend's events of boating, tanning, BBQing Ryan said he just had steak at home which made him happy because he was able to think about the weekend again. He then blurts out "I got stung by a bee" and follows it with "while I was home eating steak in my house." I stopped dead in my tracks... "what?" I said. "You got stung by a bee while eating steak in your house?" I managed to get it out without laughing. Please note this actually happened about an hour before we had this conversation. Seriously who in the world as such awful luck???

First off, if there is a bee around you know I am going to flip out... in a nice way but so not a fan of bees, or spiders but this post isn't about me. Ryan, how can you not tell the bee is around especially when it lands on your forearm?? Is the steak that good you couldn't swat it away??? If so, come cook steak for me and I will let you know if I can give up knowing I am going to get stung for the steak.

The other person in the office laughed and then shared his awful story about eating a sandwich and a bee flying in his mouth and stinging him. Awful but I know it was true and is so much easier for me to believe. Come on Ry, stung by a bee in your house... while conscious... did you not see the bee??? Do you know how silly this sounds???

Not sure if you are single but if so I can honestly see this as a good story to share on a date. I know I would have a good laugh and it would show your comfortable side if you can handle a crack or two being made, oh wait... that happened already between us - not the date part, just me busting you. I couldn't let it go, I hope you understand. And ladies...not sure if Ryan is single but he is good looking so you can't help but be intrigued by this story and think... "how cute yet how ridiculous" a combination we all love.

Ryan really is a good sport, I told him I couldn't let this go and I was even going to blog about it. Maybe he can send me a pic so I can post it along with his story.

Remember Phoebe from Friends and those songs she would sing - Smelly Cat to name one? If she was still around, ok I know it was a TV Show and she was a character but go with me on this one, couldn't you see this as a song - "I was eating steak and got stung by a bee in my house/" I can see her sitting in the Central Perk singing this song!!!! Or maybe this is a monologue by a comedian or a short story. Actually it would be a great icebreaker for the next "bonding" event you need to go to, and I am sure Ryan wouldn't mind you borrowing it but make the story good!!! And Ryan, if we are ever in an all staff meeting where we need to share something, I promise to act like I know nothing about this. Seriously, how amazing would this be for an ice breaker??? But you have to be willing to take a hit on this one, Ryan was.

Thanks Ry for being a good sport.
~xoxo

Summer Kick Off at the Cape

This Memorial Day weekend was the best. Although I do find it hard to sleep with someone and not have sex with them. Yeah, that is right... Matt and I slept together but we did not have sex. Do you know how hard it was??? I actually was the one who held the cards and made the decision but it is still hard. To fall alseep next to someone, cuddle, etc. I know B.L. would understand as he is going through the same thing.

Besides the sleeping arrangements it was a blast. Honestly Matt and I may as well have been dating but that is just not in the cards for us now. It was him and I, his brothers and their wives, kids, some friends and his parents came down Sunday. We relaxed, drank, laid out, BBQ, have a lobster clam bake, I went biking with a neighbor, and we all had a blast.

The neighbor I went biking with, Jenny, was sweet. She was 53 and had two sons in high school, her husband a doctor. They were down for the weekend as well. We went out Sunday and Monday for 30 and 25 miles respectively. We talked about Matt, our relationship, my ankle surgery, her life, etc. She is a very wise, fit woman and made my biking on the Cape that much more fun than me doing it alone.

The weather was nice, the water was a wee bit chilly for me but the kids liked it. Overall a perfect weekend. Here are some pictures from the Felix Family Compound.

The Kitchen... My dream... I love cooking in it!!!

I Get My Way ;-)

I picked up my laptop yesterday and I am loving it!!!! :-) Say hi to the new pink dell!

Second, I met with the manager at the club yesterday. Of course I put on a push up bra and low cut shirt too. Ok, so I knew he would actually listen to the words coming out of my mouth if I did this and he would focus and not distract easily. Guys can be so funny!! Anyway, yours truly gets her class back and is starting a new program with the manager - an 8 week weight loss cycling program with Mercy Medical patients. Yep, that'd be me the instructor. Girl shows some cleavage and gets her way... they don't teach this is MBA programs... but I definitely know when and with who to work my assets!

I am blogging form what I call the Felix Family compound in Brewster. I love it here, can I come more often??? I am here with my ex Matt and some friends. As long as his cousin Danny doesn't show we are good. I can't deal with the trauma ands stress he brings us, and the drugs he got caught up in... Guess when I dated Matt and not him he fell apart...oops!

The beach is a right out the window and only feet away... Tonight I am cooking dinner and hopefully the weather will hold for us to go out after and play some mini golf and get ice cream. We are having a big lobster/clam bake Monday...can't wait.

Miss you all and see you soon!
~xoxox

New Laptop

This weekend I will begin blogging from my new computer... a new pink Dell. I can't wait!!! Time to put my 9 year old Dell desktop to rest.

RIP big, huge computer. You served me well.
~xoxo

Getting Old or Feeling Like a Kid Again!!!

I was exhausted all day yesterday and with good reason, I ran around all last week and weekend. Sitting on alumni boards keeps me busy this time of year for events so I was back and forth between Boston and Longmeadow, MA all week. Friday night was rehearsal for graduation and then dinner after. Saturday saw shopping for gifts, car appt., nails, and a sweet 16 party. Sunday was a baby shower, graduation and then party. I actually looked forward to Monday but when it came - I was too exhausted to pay attention. I had everything in me to make it through the day. And when I did I went tanning and then to get my bike and low and behold locked myself out of my car. Yeah, lovely. So I waited outside in the breeze filled with pollen for a half hour... not happy!!!

Long story short, trust me I could go on... I was in bed before the sun went down and the street lights came on. Yes, I was falling asleep at 7:30 and in bed by 8 and don't you know slept soundly until 5:30 a.m. Ok, so I was awoken around 11:30 from Vegas who was heading home from the casino and apologized for not being home earlier. That's ok for me because I would have fallen asleep on him anyway so our fun night would not have been so fun!

B.L. said he was in bed by 8:30... are 27's year olds starting a trend??? We certainly have quite the busy lives, especially on weekends whether partying hard or golfing or partying lightly for multiple events. So my question is, are we really getting older or do we enjoy going to bed before the sun goes down??? We all know we hated it when we were 7 years old but is it true, do we appreciate it now??
~xoxo

Fighting for the Truth and Fairness

Have you ever been let go for something for no reason? I was recently, as a spin instructor as the club I work at. I was taken off one class in Sept. for trying to boost numbers but as I was also told to rehab my ankle, but once numbers got up there I could have it back if I also agreed to meet with the new director regarding my class style. First off I was cleared to teach and I also taught off the bike, I had the meeting and he liked my format but then he turned around and said "I never said you can have your class back." I let it go and distanced myself, still was teaching one class. Well that class was taken out from under me this week for no reason this time at all.

I called the corporate office and formally filed a complaint, am in the process of contacting a lawyer, speaking to the director of my club - who is doing nothing, talking to anyone who can help me. It is not an easy process but I had been let go wrongfully and I am going to fight this. He didn't cancel my classes for numbers reasons he just went and put other people on the schedule, friends of his. Hmmm, and they aren't drawing anymore numbers than me or the other instructors he has on the schedule.

Funny too because isn't this wrongful termination of a disabled person or discrimination as he wage his war against me when I was in a cast, with a broken ankle for 10 months!!!!

Pray that I get this resolved in a fair way. And I am not the only one he is doing this too, he is slowly getting rid of the other EL instructors.

~xoxo

The Perfect Description

B.L. sent me the perfect description of myself today, well of course outside of me being called Karen from Will & Grace.

You said you love city life.....Springfield doesn't really fit in with that type of mindset since the town sucks and there's nothing to do here ever. You seem like more of a walk/take the bus to work girl after stopping at the local Starbucks while wearing over sized sunglasses regardless of the season with a trendy outfit that may or may not be accessorized with a scarf.

For those of you who know me I know you would agree. How perfect and from B.L. who in all honesty isn't 100% in my life. But let me update you anyway. The poor guy has no "girl' friends and apparently feels comfortable enough with me and trusts my opinions to ask me about his current dating situation. Seriously??? But I went along with it and it actually opened up both of us more to speak truthfully and we found out things we didn't know when we were seeing each other. I don't know that anything will ever grow from the friendship but it is nice to know him. Really, he has a good heart he just is immature... not in the partying, drinking sense but in sometimes just no idea how to communicate or relate to a girl.

My description has made me smile all day!

Dear Abby or Dear Kristina???

I got the strangest text message yesterday... "Dude, I am starting to get a complex. Erin and I never hook up." This from B, the guy I was seeing. OMG is all I had to say. But me being me had to know more so I responded encouraging more info. He sleeps at Erin's house and very rarely do they kiss or have sex... how weird. I told him if he was staying with me he wouldn't have that issue and I know Matt could verify that for him. Matt and I never had issues in bed, or out of either! :-) I continued being a good friend and promised everything would be ok and gave some ideas, suggestions, etc. I know - how good can I be???!!!! Somehow we got onto us never having sex and maybe we should have, maybe we should do the casual thing, etc. Still today we have gone back and forth on that topic.

I do feel bad for him, I feel bad for any guy in that situation. I am being the sweetest person I can be in this situation. I am not a bitchy person... ok not a major bitch, so I didn't just tell him to F off... I could have but part of me realizes he came to me for a reason. Whether he trusts me and my advice, still likes me, has no one else... he came to me and I respect that. I don't like it but I respect it.

So this makes yet another guy in my life who looks to me for female advice... and another "ex" doing so. First I think I should be a saint, second I am thinking I need to start an advice column or something where I give this advice to all people. I am amazed by how many people, mostly males, look to me for advice. Do they realize I am still single??? Funny because I just watched a few re-runs of Sex and the City... my all time fav show, and now I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. I really do feel like CB... she writes advice columns about love, finding love, etc. and I share advice on how to stay in love or leave a relationship and hold strong. All while being the single one!!! I do have a great network of friends, some older who help me every day keep going. It isn't easy helping others stay or get into a relationship when you are then the one to stay home at night. I am happy and sad all at the same time.

So what to do??? Do I say no more or cherish the fact I am the "go-to" girl and live it up?
~xoxo

I Don't Know Where to Even Start!

I honestly don't even know where to begin. B.L. has my mind so boggled I am at a loss. I have said in recent posts he emailed me and we have been talking... well last night we met for cocoa. This makes attempt three, not that I am counting ;-)

I was a little reserved... rightfully so I feel. We talked about the job, his and mine, prospects and he vented about his friends. I listened and then I did what some may consider braking a cardinal law... he suggested his friend was a nitwit and I said "I guess it takes one to know one." This was after he emailed me admitting he was a nitwit. Oh well... but he left the door open and I admitted I was joking. Apparently some guys are sensitive because that changed the mood of the night.

We parted and I suggested we do dinner. This morning I hear from him in email and this is what he has to say.

I got your message. I meant to tell you last night that I met someone recently......I like her alot. I was going to tell you, but then you made the "it takes a nitwit to know a nitwit" comment and I was aggravated so it slipped out of my mind

I don't have the annulment papers with me right now. I'm hoping they mysteriously catch fire today and burn to a pile of very fine ashes.

So do I believe he met someone??? Not really sure. We didn't leave right after that comment either... so who the heck knows. This is what I said.

Oh, not really sure what to say but I am happy for you. I didn’t know what to expect from your email this past time honestly but I wanted to go with the flow. Not sure what I was expecting from last night either, so guess it’s my fault. I truly hope you realize I was kidding you with that comment but you did leave yourself open for it but saying it in your email and then calling your friend a nitwit. I am sorry it aggravated you.

I guess my question is, and I think it is a reasonable one, what do you want to happen with us? Do want us to be occasional friends or just completely move on? You seem genuinely interested in hearing about my potential venture and I honestly believe you are and I am willing to help you in any professional way I can… so I guess the ball is in your court and you decided how you want to proceed.

I don't know what he will say if anything. But I have been through more mind games with this one than anyone I know. I honestly believe we could make something work if we tried or maybe at another time. The potential is there but maybe the timing is not right. I guess I will leave this one up to a higher power and as for drunk dialing... I need to change his contact listing in my phone so I can't go directly to it!!! ;-)
~xoxo

No One is Going to be There

I had an amazing day today and no one was there for me. I used to have a best friend, Ian. I could call him 24/7 and tell him the good, the bad, the ugly and all about job prospects, men, etc. Well I had an interview today and it went very well and then no one to call. I felt really sad to get in the car and I called S and he was busy with work, I called B.L. to let him know we could go out for coffee tonight and I hadn't heard yet, no one I wanted to talk to was around. B.L. and I certainly have had our differences but I know he truly supports me on this venture.

Ok, don't get me wrong... I have other friends but not ones I can call at any hour of the work day to say OMG!!! Ian was always that guy and S is mostly that guy but he hasn't called yet... WTF!! Oh well. Off to call Sara and leave her a message!
~x0x0

The Rest of the Weekend

I finally woke up about 9:30 a.m. and relaxed a bit. Eggs and toast and some TV catch up then I finally got my lazy bum off the couch around noon and went out for some errands. Met up with Matt who had the day off, yeah he is the ex and so what. We are good friends. Exchanged some shirts at Gap and bought another bra, Starbucks and some window shopping through the Longmeadow Shops and then off to TJ Maxx to see about buying that gorgeous jacket I wore yesterday. I borrowed Cris's but I got so many compliments I have to see about getting my own!!! I almost retreated to just getting a fun jean jacket but then I found it... So I got both and left the adorable open toed, black patent wedges on the rack... hey Friday is pay day! Oh but maybe I will have to get them Wednesday for Thursday's conference... hmmm...

After some quality coffee and shopping time with Matt I came home for some Red Sox action... too bad they lost. Outside of Matt I heard very little from the rest of my men. S was out of commission and B.L. never responded back so oh well... Meant a quite afternoon and I was ok with that...although I didn't want to sit all afternoon...

All in all an amazing weekend. More to come because this is only the beginning of the spring/summer season!!!!
~xoxo

Saturday Recap

I know... you can't wait to hear about yesterday. I had an absolute ball!!! I went out drinking Friday night and had a great time but I again drink dialed B.L. Shit! Oh well... until I woke up to his text message Saturday morning. Come on, I had one hour left to sleep... oh well. I did answer back and we did go back and forth a bit while I was showering (no texting in the shower of course), curling the hair, getting dressed and eating breakfast. I was on the road by 8:45 and on my way. I hit a little traffic but got to the site just after 11 a.m. I walked in and saw Mindy, my best friend who I haven't seen in ever!!! I was quickly ushered into the judges room to start reviewing profiles and before I knew it interviews were beginning. The girls were good... some young, some nervous, some didn't sound like the education behind them really was, etc. After a grueling two hours a quick lunch and then it was pageant time. It was a quick afternoon because there were 16 girls we had to judge, 8 for my group of judges and 8 for the other group - we were awarding four titles in all. It is stressful to judge each girl after each event and then rank the top five... and not have any cross outs, etc. on your sheets. OMG... stressful. Finally the time has come, the runners up are picked and the four title winners are chosen. Wow... done. Not quite yet, we are whisked away to the judges room to critique the girls we picked and suggest what they need to work on like better shoes and gowns, stop talking so much during interview, act older, cut down on makeup, etc. And... DONE!!! My duties are over. Mindy and I have some time to chat and then time to go. She had the pageant today for crowing Miss Outstanding Teen 2008 and I was heading back home. So many times I thought to just drive the 16 miles to the Cape and have a good meal overlooking the water. Yeah sounds good but wasted a completely hot outfit on driving back home. I looked like the perfect judge thanks to Cris for letting me borrow her black and white jacket. Went amazingly well with my black dress, black and white shoes and silver jewelry... LOVED IT!!! And Mindy said I looked every part judge. But home I came and to bed early... it was a long stressful day after all.

Oh, don't worry... I will be doing it again. A fellow judge was a part of the Western Mass division and he will be getting me involved. I already have an invite to the BBQ this particular judge is giving for all the girls who competed and all the "workers." So guess who is getting involved in the pageant circuit now????? Yep, that would be me. I may not compete but I will be having a blast!!!!

Jobs

Jobs seem to be a point of contention lately for a lot of my friends. We all can't afford to leave the jobs we are in in search of another yet nothing seems to be knocking down or door or the doors we knock down won't budge. What gives??? I actually have an interview, a second one, next week. This job could be absolutely amazing for me - travel, more of responsibility, networking and meeting new people, hopefully more money but more importantly what I would rather be doing. Someone once said to me you can't always do what you love in order to support yourself and darn them for telling me the truth but I am finding there is something about my generation of 20 somethings who want it all. We want the higher, corner office job that we like and make good money from. I don't think we are greedy we just want to accomplish everything we hope for and we want to do it at a younger age. We see our parents, mentors, employers, relatives and neighbors and they all are older, work extremely hard for what they have but these people don't always enjoy their lives. They work too much and don't get to go out and enjoy life. They don't call out for a day just because. My generation on the other hand does and we still expect to get ahead. Their is nothing wrong with that in my mind. I work hard but I haven't managed finding a balance between work and living life. How is it getting a higher job, better money and having more time off helps... not sure but something about achieving it by 30 feels better than achieving it at 50 when kids are grown. We aren't the greedy ones, we just want to be able to enjoy our lives and our families throughout our lives. Selfish... ok maybe a little!
~xoxo

Seriously???!!!

Seriously???!!! I my wildest dreams I never expected to open my personal email account and see an email from B. "Are you kidding" is what flashed through my mind as I saw his name. Of course I was intrigued and opened it. This is what he said - the whole thing...

Hey girl...
In case you hadn't deduced by now, I'm basically a nitwit. I don't know if you really care to hear from me or not, but I thought I should reach out for my own peace of mind and apologize for how I treat you. You're a sweet girl and I definitely liked hanging out with you, but I've never been the kind of guy to answer every call or text or any of that stuff, and I realize its a shortcoming of mine. I guess I just don't know how to behave and at age 27 I should be more upfront and mature. I'm working on it. Anyway, I hope all is well and again I apologize.

I did the nice thing and emailed back. So we shall see... I am not sure what I want or where I want any of this to go if anywhere. Why are men so damn confusing???!!!

~xoxo

3's About Me

In honor of getting to know more about me, here it goes. Thanks Sara for sending this along!!!

Three jobs I have had in my life: Event Planner, Waitress, Data Specialist

Three places I have lived: Springfield and Boston… need that third!

Three shows that I watch: Gossip Girl, Samantha Who, Cashmere Mafia

Three places I have been: Florida, California, Bahamas – seeing a trend here!

Three people who email me regularly: we go in spurts…

Three of my favorite foods: Salad with chicken, Buffalo Tenders/Wings, Pasta (Beer if you consider it food would substitute the Pasta)

Three places I'd rather be right now : Bahamas, San Francisco, Napa Valley

Three friends I think will respond: ????

Three things I am looking forward to this year: Biking, Running, Seeing my friends – with the past year shot because of my foot… lots was put on hold! Here’s to a good comeback!

Single Again

Men suck and this time I am DONE with B!!! He blew me off this week after running into his ex over the weekend, also known as a friend of mine. She and I have not spoken much and I did keep this from her but he saw her out last weekend and mentioned me knowing him. She acted weird all week and he stopped talking to me so it's done. Over, finite, finished.... I am not sure if something is up between them or not but they both acted weird. He takes three days to tell me and she can't remember what she did the night she saw him... yeah! Some friends... and by the way, you shouldn't have to check with one friend to hang with another... yeah she had to check with her girl Rach to see if she could go shopping with me Friday. Like anything in Springfield is more fun than shopping at Nordstrom's and spending the evening in West Hartford Center, I think not!!!

So that leads me to being single again. Match.com sucks and no one here seems to appeasing. I spent the afternoon with Bri and that was fun. I think we are better off FW limited B. He has a hard time keeping up... then again I used to be his older sister's best friend... so sometimes things can get weird with that. S and I are definitely better friends than anything and we are both cool with that. The one thing I love about him though is nothing I say surprises him - he is ok with the fact I am buying a pink laptop, my new black flip flops are sparkly, I have a shoe and bag fetish, he doesn't seem to mind. I find that very sweet he accepts me for me. Chris is been non existent and I haven't bothered much with Matt. So this leads me to no one... OMG!!!

What do I do next??? Where do you look for men???
~xoxo

Warm Weather Equals Shopping????

The other day was a gorgeous sunny day in western mass. It was about 60 degrees and I was stuck in the office. I did go out for lunch and ended up buying a new Coach Bag!!! I checked my bank account before I did and found out my tax money was deposited so I went shopping… how bad of me!!!! But I wanted a new bag. Mind you, this is not the bag I want. The one I want was not there and I didn’t want to wait!!! So I am still looking for the bag I want. Oh and I also want a new Vera Bradley… that would have been cheaper!

So why does the warm weather make you want to buy more?

Sweet

Last night B left work around 3:45 and I knew he was going golfing and then to bed early because he was wiped. I thought he might actually skip golf and head for bed (which he did). I sent a message from my phone as I was leaving to say have a good night and hope he can sleep (he hasn't been) as I was going to dinner with a friend. After dinner I did a little warm weather retail therapy. When I got home and was getting my lunch, etc. ready for today I got a nice message from B asking how dinner was. He did go home to bed after work and was in and out and realized I should be home and wanted to check in. I told him I also went shopping and bought a few nice things. But then I wrote him saying I too was going to bed because I had a wicked headache, definitely not Sangria induced but more like allergies. Then I rolled over. I thought I heard the phone but not sure and ignored it. This morning when I woke up I looked at my phone to find a message from him wishing me to sleep tight and sweet dreams as well as hoping I feel better. How sweet!!!! I had a huge smile on my face. While we are taking things slow and I am keeping me in better check this time I can't help but smile when he says sweet things, it makes me feel good.

What is it that someone does for you that makes you smile and feel like a child again???
~xoxo

What an Amazing Day!!!!

My day has been amazing so far and it was only 7:45 by the time I knew it was amazing!!!

I woke up this morning and did my usual cardio circuit and then decided to go out for a jog. So I left the gym and starting jogging in the parking lot and then did a 1/4 mile loop. I felt amazing, outside of sucking wind. I realized when I finished, caught my breathe and was stretching today is 11 months to the day since I hurt my ankle and went through the whole process I did. How psyched am I???!!! I am going to start jogging more now... not so much miles but more days of the week.

When I get to work I have an email from a friend who wants me to judge the Miss Baystate/Commonwealth pageant which is part of the Miss MA pageant leading up to Miss America. Um, I said yes just so there is no confusion...let's get that out of the way right now. So now comes the work of finding just the right outfit to wear. It has to be perfect.

If that isn't enough I have a job prospect that might very well seal the deal. I can't wait. I can't divulge too much now but keep your fingers crossed.

~xoxo

St. Patrick's Day Parade

Every year my friends and I go to the annual parade for St. Patrick's Day. Some years there are lots of us and some only a few. This year there was bout 10 of us and lots of alcohol... to top off the already drunken weekend I was partaking in. This is the one day in the city of Holyoke I can have an open container and the cops don't care. How about a big bottle of Vodka... yep that too. I had it out and actually asked a cop walking by if he wanted some. I was off the wall crazy that day and loved it.

So this was the day when I drunk dialed the old boy... he didn't answer. But he did email me a few days later. And I responded and we got along. We talked about our issues from a few weeks before and came to a conclusion... we both were wrong and lets try again day by day. So that is where we are. Did I mention how super cute he is??? Ohh but did I mention he used to date a friend of mine a few years back??? Yeah and I haven't told her about him yet. Actually she just called me a few weeks ago because she is back to being single and wanted to go out... i have not heard from her in 3 months. So see i was in no rush to tell her... Plus sometimes I don't know if I want to hear her take on the relationship she had. He told me what i believe to be a pretty honest story because well i did learn he is an honest guy but sometimes when we get dumped our story changes to make us feel better. I am afraid she will do that.

Oh and on parade day I also had my picture taken by one of the local papers and come to find out that picture landed on the front page of one of the local papers... and other people noticed it before me! I was and still am famous at work for the picture. Everyone loves it and I do too. Leave it to me to have the picture end up on the front page of the paper!!!

Ok, talk soon.
~xoxo

Where to Begin???

It has been awhile since my last post and I apologize. My head has not been on straight... lots of partying and more partying. All to encompass the drunk phone call I made to the guy. I thought I was safe until I got an email from him on Tuesday. I was cordial and so was he. We talked back and forth throughout the week and the weekend and we really got into it yesterday when he asked why i was "wasting" time on him after what he said. Well I learned via email during the week he truly does not know the meaning of vain and he should have used self conscious instead. And I admit, I definitely was. Here was this cute guy and then me - gained weight from lack of activity with ankle, not feeling me, etc. Of course I needed someone else besides him to verify I wasn't horrible after all he was pretty hot. I think sometimes when the good looking guy goes for the girl who is not 5'9, blonde, thin, big chested than it is hard to imagine. The only part of that I have is the big chest... I am 5'3, curvy and average and brunette. Similarities... I think not!!

I told him I did not think he was that much of an ass and that is was my stupid insecurity that encompassed me. I am definitely at fault for some of what happened, no question to me. He however used a word that he thought was right and really was not. He chose the wrong word. However I grew up with Italian men and I am not going to let him know that just yet. We both agreed we liked each other and we don't know what we want or what to do... so we agreed to meet for coffee tonight. So we shall see. Am I a sucker, I don't really know. He was the first decent guy my age that I met and liked... but I couldn't handle it. I was trying to sabotage myself and he didn't come to my rescue he left like he should have. Hmmm.... we will see.

Work is work... I have decided if I can't get what I want with a new communications role than I am out... time to move one.

My foot is finally allowing me to wear some cuter shoes and do some more activity so I am trying to kick this weight thing in the butt. Still not perfect but getting there.

Ok, gotta run. I promise to update more often... I have a post St. Paddy's day recap to give you as well.
~xoxo

And Someone Awakes from the Dead?? and St. Paddy's Recap

So S may not have been dead but he certainly fell off the face of my earth for what seems forever. Forever was a little over two months though. Oddly, just when I needed him he called. Life has been an interesting mix for sure and some how he levels me out. He has his own issues which makes it all funny but some how we make it work.

I left work yesterday to bar hop with my friends. Ridiculously crazy yesterday and I had a blast. I was out late, drank lots slept in this morning and oh was that nice. Do you know how nice it is to sleep in until 7 a.m.??? Ok, I know you aren't thinking that is sleeping in but compared to 4:30 a.m.... I did go to the gym and work off some of my beer and then went to PT before strolling into work after noon. Can I do that more often please???

How were your celebrations yesterday?
~xoxo

Just when I thought it was safe...

Ok, so I opened my heart and let down my guard only to hear "You are to vain for me." Don't you love those words??? Taking a step back, the day of the date at Iparty I was having a fat day, bard hair day, etc. So I asked my friend Adam at work how he would rate me from 1-10. He said a 7 - wasn't thrilled but not bad. So I mentioned this to date guy and he said I was more like a 12 out of 10 - insert the "ahhhh". So I not a vain person but I definitely like to look good. I like to make sure my hair is in place, I match or coordinate, look decent, etc. I don't believe there is anything wrong with that. I admit right now because I gained a few pounds I am a little self conscious but who isn't when they put on weight. I never ever brought that up though...

I have seen date boy a few times but on date three something I said didn't make him 100% happy yet I don't know what it was. Then he was all moody, etc. Well he finally got back to being somewhat normal and then it happened... I suggested we get together unless I am too vain for him. That is after I sent him a text earlier in the day saying my score went from 7 to 7.6. I got a message back later when I was out with friends from work and it said "You are too vain for me. Have fun and don't drive drunk." Lovely right??? That is what I thought. I did the stupid drunk thing and called and was like "are you serious?" on his voicemail and then sent him a text saying the same thing. Oops!

I sent him another message Saturday night basically saying thanks for a few great days, always looked forward to talking to and seeing him and good luck to him. I was trying to be the bigger person without coming across like a stalker. He once told me when he dated an old friend of mine something happened with them and he just stopped talking to her.

My friend Brian told me not to worry, this guy was a royal pain in the rear and he is nothing but into himself. I can see that now!!! Mike told me not to worry and I am going to be ok. He was right... he happened to be at the bar when this happened and yes it was new, but I put my heart out there, did like the guy and was drinking...come on of course I will be upset. So Mike said is he makes comments about me being vain and on earlier about he better not be wearing lipstick after we kissed once... not worth my time. Mike and Brian are both right and I am thankful for them.

So what did I do with my weekend without all the plans date boy and I made??? I did what any self respecting girl would do - slept in after a night of drinking, called my trainer and had him kick my butt for a few hours at the gym, get my tea from Starbucks and relax a little, shower and go out all over again for a night of drinking. Then I saw my ex Matt for a few hours and then Brian. Needless to say I got home at 4:30 am Sunday, slept for a few, went to Yoga and then a martini party.

And St. Paddy's day today, yeah I guess a good week for a relationship to go south... all the reason in the world to drink!!!! :-)

Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone - I will be bar-hopping eventually today!!!
~xoxo

Dating at Iparty

It's been a few and I apologize. Life has been crazy and good crazy at that. I met someone this past week. I rejoined Match.com for 3 months and last week I came across a very good looking 27 year old from Springfield. Now that doesn't happen often, someone my age, in my town and handsome... I emailed him, which I don't like to do but I did and we hit it off in email. He sent me his number and asked for mine so last Tuesday we text back and forth like high schoolers. It was cute! He wanted to get together and so did I but then the fear of rejection set in.

It was Wednesday, I had a busy night and was teaching my first Spin class in two months. He wanted to meet that night. I jokingly said he could run errands with me to Iparty, etc. He accepted and I felt awkward now. I was having a bad hair day, a fat day and I had no time to go home and change. Turns out I worried for nothing. We met at Iparty and hit it off. He picked out a good bye card with me (for the party I was throwing the next day) and then we went for dinner and drinks. And after we sat in his car for two hours talking.

He was a year behind me at the same high school and we never knew. He plays golf, I don't, he goes to the gym, me too, we share similar philosophies in life, he holds an MBA, he likes to live in the moment, which can help me... All in all a great guy and someone I have been looking for.

I don't know where it will go but we have talked since. He went away for the weekend and checked in before he left, while away and when he was at the airport coming home. He is sweet and I would like this to go somewhere but right now I am living in the moment.

My advice... take your next date to Iparty! :-)
~xoxo

Knee High Boots

What are your thoughts on knew high boots??? I love them. Today I am actually wearing a pair. Ok, so I take them off every few hours to ice my ankle and put flats on but that is minor. I feel amazingly good in these boots. They always make me feel pretty, girly, sexy and powerful. Especially with a skirt or shorter dress. And come to find out, there is a guy I work with who has a thing for them... I walked down his aisle and he was meeting with someone but apparently took the time to notice me and then emailed me he liked my boots... why thank you!

Here's to feeling normal again...
~xoxo

Email, Email, Email

What do you do when you are at work and trying to plan an after hours social with work colleagues? Do you email them via your work account? Well I did, my boss included but somehow the big boss saw the email and turned around and ripped me a new one, all because she does not like me. She in fact saw the email because she was reading something at someone else's computer, so she read their email... um, wrong much??? Mind you the email went to 35 of my closest work friends who all asked to be included. However I was wrong to email during work, using work, I am inappropriate and unprofessional. I have this to say... F U!!!!

Let me tell you, the following I have and the support I have gotten. People are hugging me, saying the will strike, they want to march down there and give this woman a piece of their mind. In their eyes I took the fall for all of them, when in fact I didn't take the fall for them. This is sadly one older woman who dislikes me so much she tries to find anything to make me unhappy and leave. That's what it comes down to, she wants me out and she can't fire me. And I know this and as rough as it is, I won't leave. I won't give up!!

As a matter of fact, I marched my little tush down to my buddy, the Chief HR boss, and said this is what I put up with today. I acknowledged I may have been wrong for sending the email but her response was uncalled for and wrong. He agreed 100% and said she was rude and unprofessional when all she needed to do was pick up the phone and see me in person and nicely say please don't. He said he would speak with her. THANK YOU!!!

Have you ever had to deal with this??? Oh, by the way she copied in my bosses (one who could care less) and the CIO of technology who is so far up this woman's ass she would do anything for her. So that is the wrong part too. Sad part is, I am not trying to take her job, compete with her on another, etc. She is a woman who in my opinion is not confident in herself so she feels the need to boss me around and try and knock me down because I am confident in myself, my job and the relationships I have with my colleagues.

Let's see what trouble I can get in today???
~xoxo

Sunday Partying

I was reliving my college or younger days yesterday. I went with friends to watch a 10 mile road race and after our friends finished we did the bar circuit. Being up in Amherst we decided to go to Rafters where I was apparently on the menu for some guys there. Whether they had the guts to buy me a few beers or admire from afar I was apparently a sight to see. I of course enjoyed every minute of drinking from 1 p.m. to 8 p.m., yep a good seven hours or so and about 2 six packs of beer and some food in between. After Rafters we came back to Springfield and hit two local bars. One was dead and more like being at a high school reunion so we went across the street. That was a little more lively.

The latter bar was one I frequented every Friday when I worked at MassMutual. Some of my salary went into that bar's expansion. I remember the days we would head over around 3 p.m. and I didn't get home until 2 a.m. and I would have to wake up and go to grad school on Saturday for 8 a.m. Ahh, to be young again. I hooked up with many a men from that bar and dated a few too. But always had to be careful of what guy knew what...

Oh, Saturday night was an awkward night for me...who could I have almost forgot to mention. I went to dinner with my gram and then stopped at Friendly's on the way home for a scoop of ice cream. Well as I pull in the parking lot Chris was getting out a car and noticed me. So I thru on some lipstick and made nice because he was with a girl and it didn't look like his sister. It was his girlfriend!!!! Ok, I have known about this wacky girl forever but I have never met her. Needless to say it was the most uncomfortable 10 minutes of her life and a little unnerving for me too. I played nice and took my lead from Chris, who did greet me with a hug and kiss on the lips. We all went to the takeout window and I abruptly said I was babysitting my godson... yeah not true... so my scoop of ice cream now had to become some strange connection a 5 year old would like... mint chocolate chip with peanut butter topping... close enough! I actually like it but I was going to the fat free kind instead, oh well.

I did say something via text later to Chris about his girlfriend, I was nice but he replied saying I should have sat through dinner with her. He isn't very fond of her, yet dates her and continues to. It drives me crazy and after three years of knowing about her, I met her. Yeah... made me a little jealous at that point. Chris is the type of guy who everyone feels we should date and deep down we both do too, and we have discussed it yet we never act on the whole dating thing. We have certainly acted on other impulses but never that.

So that was my crazy weekend. How was yours???
~xoxo

Snow Day

Ok, maybe not so much a "snow day" but it was snowing when I woke up. I did have to go to work today but because we are having a bad storm that is heaviest in the afternoon, I left work at noon time. I went to my PT appointment early and by the time I came home the city offices had closed... so I am going to weasel my way out of a half day. :-)

I am sitting here wishing I was in Boston again. Living in the city on a snow day is sooo much fun. Ok, Springfield is a city too but not as close and quaint as Boston. I wish I could go out and walk around, shop, go to the coffee shop, etc. Instead I am sitting on my couch curled up with my dog, Max, sipping some cocoa, writing this blog, ABC soaps on, fire going and watching the snow fall. Somewhat romantic... if I was here with a guy we would have the bottle of red open and no TV on. Ok, ok that's enough fantasizing on my part.

On days like today I like to relax, go out and "play" in the snow. Not the same playing I did as a child but walk around in the snow, maybe get into a snowball fight, make snow angels, etc. What do you like to do??

~xoxo

A Forced Day Off???

What do you do when your company calls you to say "Due to a power outage you do not need to come to work today"? Well I was all dressed, had just eaten breakfast and was waiting for that magic time to leave for work when I got the call. After being somewhat disappointed because I was going to try wearing heels today, I sat on the couch with the dog, went to Starbucks, stopped by the PD building where the guys were still working, went to breakfast and then shopped all day with mom and gram. OMG did we shop!!!! I spent more than I wanted to but I have some nice new pants and a suit to show for it. Between this trip and my trip to Banana Republic two weeks ago it tallies almost $1,000 in new clothes... ouch!!! Oh well, I deserve it, right????

What would you do if you were given the day off?

By the way, I did not check anything work until just before I started writing this. I checked email to see if there was an email about tomorrow... nothing yet. But with an impending snow storm of 6-10 inches we will sure be let out early. Waist of a day which adds to my waist of a week work wise.

Ok, off to work on a communications plan... yep, that is right I have to do some work!!! But it is fun stuff for me!

~xoxo

Welcome Back again...

Welcome Back to me... So this is another welcome back but each time I take a hiatus I come back rested. This time I have a little glow from the warm sun of Florida. I flew down for a whirlwind trip and came back tanned, rested and back to my naturally wavy hair. I have an extra spring in my step and oh yeah, two shoes on. Ok so no heels just loafers, ballet flats or my clogs but still two shoes!!!

As usual work is driving me crazy but I am managing. I am working on some new ventures within the office which I am crossing my fingers all will work out. For the crazy parts... my team of three gets along just fine, it is my larger team in a whole that makes me want to drive off a bridge, case in point already this morning. I can't stand being treated the way I am by one person because she frankly does not know how awful she is. It would be one thing if she acted malicioulsy with intent but I truly belive she has no idea how rude she really is. I have this person and then another one who is malicious. I don't like either one but I prefer the latter because I know her smile and 'good morning' hold nothing real behind it.

Oh well, off to battle my day but at least I am refreshed going into it. Have an amazing day!
~xoxo

A long and needed hiatus

Good Morning and welcome back!!! I am sorry I have been away on a much needed break... I haven't gone any where but I needed some time to refocus and regroup. I am back now with a vengenance. And oh do I have an update...

I am walking now, sans crutches and the cane I was using. Oh, and I have two shoes on!!! Ok, so they are either my ballet flats, loafers or clogs but they are shoes!! And as for my clogs, I bought them so the left foot would be the same height as my right when I had the cast on in the colder weather, so I was amazed when I put the right shoe on Wednesday, I had never worn it before!!! I am still going to PT 3 times a week and I will be going for a long time but at least I am getting better. Oh, and I am starting to drive again too.

Work is ok. I came back and voiced my concerns and feelings to my boss. And while I let my guard down I think she somewhat got the picture and has been trying. It has been better, not perfect but better.

Too Early to Drink???

I was having a pretty darn good day, the best you can have when your right foot is in a splint and you can't bear weight on it, then I opened the paper with my lunch and saw the most dreadful article. I was mortified to find the person I like the least has a brand new job for the state and her freakin' picture in the paper. This was worse than seeing an old friend or the ugly girl get married before you!

I am not going to get into the whole "it's not fair" routine, trust me I could, but instead I poured myself a big glass of red and settled in on the couch with one of the most reliable loves of my life... my dog, Max. He and I are now onto episode 8 of Season Three Sex and the City.

Who in the hell is this woman who can ruin my perfectly good day???!!!! I can't even get dressed up, go out and some how make myself feel better about everything!!! Who does she think she is? And who the hell did she sleep with for this job???!!!!

~xoxo

Dating, Men and Games

I really want to know do we play games in relationships? Whether we are dating or friends, do we seriously play games??? Think about this... S and I are constantly playing games and I can truly admit to that. The latest is he goes from being mr. sweet guy about my surgery and whatever I need to not calling, texting, etc. Cold turkey. I admit I sacrificed myself about and tried to contact him but to no avail. The sad part is S and I are just friends. That's all. Yeah we flirt, have dinners, lunches, actually have great conversations and ok, again we flirt but being there and trying that didn't work for either one of us. We are better off being good friends but apparently when we get close as friends he scares away. I was amazed he accepted his birthday gift and still talked to me... that was a breakthrough but with every one step forward we take two steps back.

Why is it we play games even with friends? Why can't a male and female be good friends and ok with it? I once had a lovely relationship with Ian this way but we made the mistakes of trying out us... not the best thing. Now we hardly talk but I still do love the guy but not in love with, just love like brother/sister or good friends love.

When will we talk our relationships out of the beer pong, twister, scrabble, shutes & ladders kind of games and move on to being in real relationships???

Sex and the Single Girl

Ok, so if you are not of a proper age I urge caution to this blog...

I am lying around the house today (what else is new) watching the Sex in the City series. However in the midst of all that my ex lover called. Yes, Matt would be my ex lover, not sure how else to categorize him. For a year of my life we slept with each other, sometimes early in the AM, late late at night, on my lunch breaks, Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings. OK, ok you get the picture but we didn't go out publicly we stayed at his house and always his house. I will be honest, the sex was good. Back to today... he has been calling for a while now and the other day I gave him a chance. We talked for a while. He seems somewhat sincere about everything but I know he is a still the same old Matt. And the same old Matt means a man hoar. I can't blame him, if he can do it more power to him and I certainly enjoyed every minute we spent together.

With the past being the past and now Matt trying to be part of my present at the moment, not sure what to do. I am obviously not in the mood right now with my foot. I just don't want to deal and not sure how sincere he is when he says "we can just watch a movie and nothing more." Or his line of today "let's go for pancakes." Ok, here is the deal I don't feel cute, sexy, hot anything right now. I have a cast on my right foot from my toes to knee, hobble on crutches, shower every two days, going up stairs is a bitch and the foot still hurts, I wear pajama pants and t-shirts every day, very blah frankly. So there is no dressing up, makeup, doing the hair, anything. Can't find that here.

Maybe when the foot feels a little better I will be back to the vixen I was starting to become. As Matt said love 'em and leave 'em and I was getting good at that. Being a girl and sleeping around like I was a guy was something I was getting good at and enjoying. I enjoyed dressing up in a dress or skirt and heels, showing some cleavage and stopping in for a drink at Max's, Pazzo's, Luva's, any hot spot and meeting someone new or someone I already new for a night of drinks and whatever followed. I won't apologize for missing that I can only say to each their own and when I can...watch out!

Update

Hi All,
I am blogging from the couch with my dog Max. Max is chillin' laying next to my bum leg and I watching TV and thinking of something good to say. I can tell you I am so sick of Britney Spears and that never ending saga and of the political race for president. Those two things seem to be all the rage right now.

First off, the whole Spears thing... Anna Nicole"ish" for me. She is spiraling downward and soon I can see her dying of an overdose. Her family has to be screwed up, they ask Dr. Phil to see her, he is then doing an interview about it... um what happened to patients rights????!!!! And the mother is still in Louisiana, not LA with her daughter... hello!!! Ok, if I say more I may crack.

On to the presidential race. That is all that has been on lately in the Northeast. I live in Massachusetts and because it is next to NH, we have lived, breathed, slept the candidates. Frankly I don't care. I don't know who I want and I don't truly care. I do like that Barack and Hillary are running because of the diversity they bring but I don't know either of them are the right people. Mitt Romney to me is a joke. He did nothing for my state when he was a governor and he will do something different as president?? He is more wishy washy then I know what to do with.

I do know this, I want someone who is strong, yet a real person and doesn't shy away from being affected by what is going on. But someone who can focus on this country and not everyone else's. I know we need to help other countries, I a not opposed to it but we need to focus on education, health care, and the people here first. We seem to want to fix everyone else's issues, not our own.

P.S. I am ok... battling the pain and not trying to get addicted to the pain meds. Still not moving much but then again I was ordered not to. Thanks for all the love and support.

~xoxo