Office is Packed... A New Chapter Begins

I was let go last week but today it became final... my office and the past four years in now packed in four big boxes, actually not bad. Yes today my mom, best friend Sara and her two sisters and a cousin came to help me finalize my career with the school department. I am glad everyone was there, made it easier to say goodbye. Plus in an already hot building made it faster to get in and pack and get out. I can say I definitely won't miss the heat in that building... no air.

Sara and I both agreed it is a good thing... no more heat and hopefully on to air conditioning.

It was nice to see some faces in the building when I was there and how supportive they were of me. I am very lucky to have been blessed to work with some amazing people. But alas, that chapter is now closed and it is up to me to start my new and exciting chapter. And I will do that. I already have an interview on Friday. Thanks to all my friends and family for their love and support. I promise to make you all proud!
~xoxo

Putting Your Life in Perspective

Weekend was full of fun. Friday night drinking redheaded ho's - raspberry lambic and hoogarten - and Wii, Saturday was soccer and boating, sleep over and Sunday was Wii Rockband and more drinking. Loved every minute of it but it also put some things in perspective. My friend Jo is great at bargain shopping and saving money where she can so I mentally took some notes while I am now on a very limited budget. Like for one, didn't call to make a hair appt. to have my hair colored, I paid $8 and had her daughter lighten my hair today... savings - $125 or so.

I am not perfect and those who know me know I like the finer things in life but here it goes... I went to a financial advisor last week to get ideas on budgeting and saving for my future house, emergency fund, etc. and now I don't have an income... so maybe I do need to control my habits - shopping, shopping and Starbucks. The drinking... fairly low key when you can buy a 12 or 30 pack, spend nights at home with friends or go on the boat... so much cheaper than going out... which is a usual summer drink fest anyways... I learned a lot about friends and money this weekend when if you watched me all weekend you would have thought all I was doing was drinking and hanging with friends, but in reality so much more.

How lucky are you to have your friends??? I am very lucky and blessed.
~xoxo

Your Job is being Eliminated

Those are so not the words I wanted to hear yesterday. Yes it is true, yours truly is now jobless. Due to an organizational change my job has gone "bye-bye." Oh well, it will be a good thing for me. I was getting stressed, tired, over worked and wasn't sleeping or eating well. I was constantly fighting a battle every day and now I don't have to anymore. Maybe I am not the right person to have left but I was the one they chose and I have to accept that. I fought every day for what I believed and I wouldn't change a thing.

So this means more time to write for you all as I navigate my way through the job search. I already got up early, went to the gym and hit the ground running... literally. Change is a good thing... here's to change!
~xoxo

Happy Father's Day

To my dad and all dads out there... Happy Father's Day!!!!

Salespeople

Do I look like a typical girl??? Ok, maybe so but I know better. Mom and I went out looking for dryers last night and the sales woman at Sears was trying to sell us a decent dryer. Then she said well this one will get you the free delivery. But wait, 15 minutes later she said, actually you get 10% off the price and therefore with that you would have to pay for delivery, so this is the next one you can get. Then she calculated it and that was under the $399 free delivery price... what an idiot. She was trying to get the higher sale but she was trying to railroad us. I kept saying but you said, well you said... I am no fool. Don't forget a Public Relations degree means a degree in bullshit means I can sell you the White House or the Golden Gate Bridge. Hello!!! She tried but her technique was not smooth and I caught on real fast. Poor girl... lost a sale.

Oh darn... still shopping around!
~xoxo

Pear Martinis, Blue Motorcycles and Jewelry

Friday night found me with my MM girls. Kel had a jewelry party so I made my way to Jo's knowing if she and I went together we would have a designated driver... love it! So we had drinks in the cabana first and then headed down the hill to Kel's. There I continued to drink my new drink, a blue motorcycle leading me to buy almost $200 in jewelry. Not sure if that was alcohol induced but one can only hope!!!

Once the blue motorcycle was done I moved on to Pear Martinis, Kel's drink of the night. Then when everyone else left it was me, Jo, Kel, Susan and Jill. Elizabeth ended up babysitting for a woman who was at the party... score for her! So we were drinking and drinking and then oh, the hunger sets in... I call my ex Matt to get us food and in the meantime Jo's husband and Susan's husband come over. Susan and her husband leave, I move on to beer, and we are still hungry. Jo and her husband go and get food because Matt didn't come yet but then don't you know he showed... We all went to McDonald's and ended up with 10 cheeseburgers and fries for 5 people. Matt doesn't stay and I know he was hoping I would go home with him but oops... girl's night, sorry bud!

Elizabeth finally comes home and it is 1 a.m. Jo, Elizabeth and Kelly and I decided to have a sleep over at Kel's. I am sober at this point but tired!!! So I stay.

The next morning we all start moving around 9 a.m. By 9:30 Jo, Elizabeth and I make our way out. You know it was an awesome night when you walk out the next morning in the same clothes you came in, an empty cooler, a box full of empty beer bottles and a bag of left over McDonald's!!!

I am a Bad "Cousin"

Jim... Happy Belated birthday!!! I am so sorry but I just found out Wednesday was your birthday... :-(

P.S. Stay tuned for an exciting weekend recap!!!
~xoxo

A Little Motivation... Long Way???

As a slight follow up to my post about Lake George I was hoping a little motivation would go a long way. I witnessed while boating many boats with younger adults on them, maybe even my age. First off, how can they afford these nice boats which is bigger than ours???? Second, the girls in their bikinis were supposed to make me want to get back to working out full swing. Ok, so I have no quarrels with me getting on my bike for 50+ miles or going running, especially because I can run past a mile now. Ok, ok I know this seems silly but because of breaking my ankle I couldn't run for 1 year and now I have to readjust my body to running. I wish it was like riding a bike again but it isn't. I need my lungs to readjust.

Somewhere along the line though I lost my motivation to go to the gym. I know if I suck it up and just go I will be ok after a few days but when you work out as much as me and watch what you eat and don't lose... it stinks. Problem is, with my new found "finding m again" theme I need to do this. I was 30 pounds lighter before so I know I can do it... I just have to find that will within me again. Damn, I thought those bikini clad girls would do the trick!!! Although they certainly motivate you and they weren't stick thin at all, they were normal... I want normal!!!

Do you find it hard to find your motivation again???

P.S.

Ryan, If you are still checking this... HI!!! :-)

Back to Me

It's been a long few days followed by an amazing weekend to Lake George. OMG... I love that place. To be in a lake, on the boat surrounded by mountains... my favorite place, event beats the Cape! And we all know I love the Cape and the islands.

I know I promised to tell you all about my week last week but I am trying to move past it. My best friend Joanne and I had lots of wine Thursday night and we talked about the week that had just passed. Then she said "pack a bag, be here at 5 and away to the lake you go." I was so in!!! I went to work Friday, left a few minutes early to get the booze and we were on our way. Mudslides and some Blue Moon kept us content for the almost 3 hour drive and her husband was at the wheel so made it easy for us. We put the boat in, got the kids settled and away we went to bar hop via the boat.

Over Saturday and Sunday Jo and I talked work, future, fun, stress, everything that was bugging me but we talked on the edge of the boat, our feet in the water drinking beer among beer and regardless of the good buzz, the world seemed so much clearer and so did what I had to do.

I finished my resume and re-wrote my cover letter all with a smile on my face like Sandi said. She is right, when you are smiling somehow writing just comes easier. I have decided to actively pursue another job option because I can not deal with the drama in my office anymore. I checked my sanity at the door two years ago and regardless of my strength have gotten deeper and deeper, losing myself along the way. I can't do it anymore. I like being sane way more than not. The drinking thing is good but there is a problem when drinking lots brings clarity... the foggy head I much prefer when I want a buzz, not clarity.

So little by little this weekend has brought me back to me or at least seeing who me needs to be again. Thank goodness... it's time to have fun again!

P.S. the guys were good too! ;-)
~xoxo

A Prada Dress Has Never Broke My Heart Before

This is the favorite line in my new fav song Labels and Love by Fergie, the theme song for Sex And The City. I can't divulge everything now because it won't come out right but yesterday truly was a bad day. Between dealing with my brother the night before and getting reprimanded at work for something I can NOT take any credit for I am shut down. I am so unhappy and miserable it is pathetic. I didn't want to go shopping, drinking, etc. last night so you know it is bad. I even had someone tell me the Cycling director at the club quit, which should have made me ecstatic yet I just have no happy feelings right now. All I did was lay in bed and cry yesterday...

I shouldn't have to cry on my way into work... I promise to explain everything in detail but just keep me in your thoughts today.
~xoxo

Cosmos, Beer and a Fight with My Brother

As you can tell from the title of this post it wasn't a great night last night. Yes, I did have an amazing time with the cosmos and beer but then after my brother and I fought. Ok, so maybe I picked the fight but he deserved it!!!

After work a few of us from the office went downtown to Uno's to watch our co worker's band, drink and have dinner. That was the good part of the night. Ryan, our waiter, was great. I got two Bombay Sapphire cosmo glasses out of the night... and he knew and let it happen. Love it!!! It is always fun being with friends, have more friends/acquaintances show up and forgetting it is only a Monday night... oops! Probably had one too many drinks but I was feeling great... I didn't care.

The problem came when I sent a text to my brother to find out if he was still in town... yes, he was. He finally called me and was like I am down the street. So yours truly met him in the parking lot of Walgreens and laid into him. If you don't know my brother is what I can safely call a drug addict. He got addicted to pills and his girlfriend in Florida, where he lived, was no help. Well idiot wanted to move back up here I guess but not tell us. You also need to know my brother is not biologically my brother, he is my foster brother.

I so don't want him home because his family is so screwed up and no one can help him. He needs to get away from his drama momma, brother who just had a baby out of wedlock with someone he can't stand, his little sister who already had a 9 year old son and his twin sister who is probably the most normal but still has issues. And his dad... not too sure about him but he does say his dad is helping him. A former drug addict himself I guess.

I did probably what some therapists would not agree with and told him how I felt. He needed to leave the area, talk to me more, trust me and told him how upset I was he hasn't bothered to talk to me over the past year. I used to cover his butt with my parents, tell him everything about work, my love life, ask for advice and him vice versa and not over the past year. I told him I get he was screwed up but pick up a freakin' phone. After I wouldn't let it go for a while we finally started seeing progress and so at 1 a.m. I was content and went home to bed... only to wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work. Definitely not a gym morning.

So today I am a cross between tired, hungover, confused, cranky, and more tired. I almost called out but I have a few site visits and I needed to be there. Here's to hoping for a decent day!!!
~xoxo