I call it "doing a service"

While I am spending my Sunday afternoon with my dog and the TV remote to watch all possible football games we can today I find myself reflecting on last night's outing. A few friends and I went to Noho last night to watch our friends John and Allan play in their band. It was a new bar, never been there before - a bit of a whole in the wall but oh boy was the bartender cute. Here I am in my cast, wide leg jean capris and a good cleavage showing top.

I finally meet Marc when he gets my second Keno ticket going. We definitely flirt and he is definitely looking at what I sometimes refer to as my assets. I am learning as I get older to use what I have to my benefit because as much as we hate to admit it, even us girls know most times it is all about the boobs! It's ok and I can't blame a guy for thinking that. Every guy has their own preference but some openly admit they can make a difference and they can for us too!

So as Marc and I continue to flirt, some of the guys there including Allan, say it's all about the boobs...show the cleavage. I agree and I certainly was showing some. Marc and I flirt, he gets a little foot stool for me to rest my foot on (caring), he helps me win at Keno but then I also lose..., all in all we flirt away and soon I know his middle name, he played lacrosse in college, etc. You can catch him staring on occasion at me, some of his friends looking over, the other bartender... it is all good as far as I am concerned. Even if I don't hear from or see Marc again, who cares. It was fun flirting and having someone steal a look on occasion.

As I explained it I was doing a service. Maybe Marc or his friends, or the older guy who came up next to me to order his beer and look over were having a bad day, night, life, anything and by looking at what was peeping out of my shirt or what you could obviously tell was under my shirt helped put them in a good mood even for a split second... I am glad. I am doing them a service.

Will I ever be so distasteful with my boobs that I wear something so low you can truly see what belongs to me - no. Would I ever flash them - hey is has been done before one random, drunk St. Patty's day night at my bar...couldn't help that but flashing in general would depend on the situation...not 100% opposed. Will I continue to wear something low cut when I go out to a bar with the girls or with a guy - yea why not. I am not making my boobs the focus of everyones attention or what I want to be remembered for but I am not afraid to use them (out for fun or at work) a bit to help sway someones decision making a little bit or make someones day just a little bit.

There is a little saying out there that goes like this "be proud of what your mama gave you" and after many years I am. I am proud of them and happy to "provide a service" any time I can.

Decisions!!!

How many decisions do you make a day??? Have you ever thought how many you make from the time you get of bed in the AM until the time you go to work? Here is my list.
1. Should I lie in bed a few more minutes?
2. Should I hit the snooze button if I lie in bed?
3. What shower gel and shampoo am I going to use today?
4. What am I going to wear?
5. What bra and panties do I wear based on the outfit I picked?
6. (Still in my cast so...)What color flip flop for my other foot, brown or black?
7. Should I straighten my hair or let it go natural?
8. If I straighten it should I curl the front a little?
9. What color lipstick and blush?
10. What should I pack for breakfast and lunch?
11. What else am I missing before I walk out the door?
12. Where do I go - Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks?
13. Which route do I take?
14. Do I want tea or coffee?
15. If I have coffee do I want it hot or cold?


That is all to just get my coffee in the AM and head to work and I might have even left a thing or two out!!! Sometimes the dressing, hair and makeup decisions are down the night before so I can wake up and go straight to the gym before work.

Think about it... what do you think of in the morning...really think of it!!!

Stress

Help??!!! What do you do for stress??? I have been so out of my mind with stress lately due to my job. People have changed, roles have changed, attitudes are ever changing and trust is far from anywhere to be seen. I, still with my bad leg, have seen some weight creep up (darn that Cortisol hormone) and seen an increase in my drinking. I would normally go for a 5-10 mile run or bike 20+ plus miles, sometimes even yoga. But with none of those being options right now I have turned to drinking, not so much food. In fact I skipped a coffee at Dunkin' yesterday on my ride home for fear of getting a donut too so I opted to go buy a BIG bottle of white wine and go home and have a glass with dinner. Yum!

Seriously though, short of changing my job (which I am looking to do), how do you unwind not so physically??

New Addiction

OMG... I can't beleive I am admitting this to the public, outside my gals, but my new fav show is Gossip Girl on the WB. A little more exciting than the OC and for me a little more addicting. Happy Gossiping! (On Wednesday nights and reruns on Sundays).

It's Fall

Like the beginning of school fall means a new beginning too. It officially kicks off apple season, watching football feels better on cool nights than on warm evenings, getting cozy in a warm sweater of fleece by the bonfire with friends and good drinks just seems better. Today could have been spent on the boat however and if it wasn't for family that is where I would have been. Instead family came out for the Big E, oh yeah another New England "fall" thing, so we socialized for a bit before they headed out.

Fall also is host to a lot of fundraisers. There were diabetes and Iron Man fundraisers I made my way to this weekend, every market I seemed to go to today had school children selling candy or sports teams doing the same, more golf tournaments for a good cause, bake-a-thons, and the usual road races and marathons for a good cause. The latter leaves me yearning for the day when I can run again. It has been over four months since I last ran or even walked 1 mile and I am telling you I don't know what I will do first when my ankle ever gets better. This is the perfect time of year to run and I can't enjoy it. Spring is nice to run in, the sun rises earlier and those early morning runs are nice because you feel like you are waking up with the rest of the world but the crisp feeling of fall seems to help you run a little faster.

Oh yeah, Fall is also the beginning of the next wedding year. It seems as if it runs from fall to summer, not the traditional January to December year or June to July like fiscal years but it seems to follow a school year and Fall is now back to being the biggest wedding season ever.

Lastly, Fall is a time to start decorating your house. This starts the season of chotchkees in and out of your house and this season doesn't end until Easter. Think of it you start with fall and then that turns into Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day and then finally Easter. Maybe even a few others I don't know too much about because I don't celebrate them. But after Easter we get a reprieve for a few months. Fall also starts the cooler and eventually colder weather settling in if you leave in a climate that deems that weather. If you are like my cousin in Florida - you are lucky!!!

Fall is a good season - not my favorite but a good season. I like the crisp feel in the air though I soon long for those warm days and nights but I won't complain too much about snuggling up in cute sweaters. Maybe someday I can wear cute pants too but darn that cast of mine. Fall also means for me another season wasting away. It's so hard for me being an active person to have to succumb to this darn foot and cast. However I am finding my motivation again this Fall and going back to the gym - the goal is 4 mornings a week. I needed a swift kick in the butt and thanks to Fall I am going to do it!

(btw - the weekend was a busy one, but not overly eventful)

Happy Fall everyone! :-)

Narrowing the Field...

OMG... I finally did it!!! Ok, no I didn't get enggaged, elope or married but I did start to narrow my "men" field. Has anyone ever asked you "what is your type?" I get asked that a lot from friends as they try and think of friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. that they can set me up with. I can honestly say I didn't think I had a type. Everyone I have dated in the past few years are all so different, no line up would be able to help you see similarities - promise.

I did think today more about my type and what really is it about mr. blind date I dind't like. Was it really his height? Bothersome yes, but the real reason?? Not sure but what I wasn't overly thrilled with - he has facial hair...like a gotee. I have never dated a guy with facial hair - insert narrowing the field! I definitely like my guys with a little scruff if they haven't shaved in a few days but facial hair... I don't think it is me. At this point I want to shout out to my friend M.E. who just today learned about this blog... Hi! Now M.E. has facial hair but don't think I am dissing him - I like M.E. - he keeps things fun. But here is the key, and no offense here, I like M.E. I don't want to date M.E. But if I ever wanted to - he has the height thing going for him so that scores him points!

While you might not think my facial hair discovery is huge, it is for me because I can now tell people - no facial hair. See I was willing to give last blind date guy a chance... he wasn't 100% worthy but I gave it a shot because I didn't want to seem snotty or picky. So what was the difference between the two - well the first guy had no facial hair, taller (yes), wasn't as overwhelming at first, but again - no facial hair! And when it is a dark brown/black... OK, I am going to bite my tongue now becuase even my brother-in-law has a little gotee...but again more of a scruffy look...and I still like him.

How do you feel about facial hair? (One bad make-out session back in college ruined it for me!)

Friends

There was a post I read today in the Glamour Blogs - my newest fav - Storked. In this blog Chrissy just had a baby. She is my age and her life has turned a little upside down but in a new, good way. She touches on a topic though that we all learn to value and appreciate in our toughest times... friends. We have days when we want to be alone and are content in hitting the silent button on our phone when we take that nice long ride but there are times when a friend, good glass of wine, some reruns of Sex & the City or Gilmore Girls, the Hills, Grey's Anatomy or any other show comes in handy. Drinking, relaxing and gossiping with a friend or a few friends just makes everything at ease.

I miss that. I have some good friends but the one friend I did this with all the time was Tara. Tara now lives six hours away in New York. She has a busy yet good job and a great guy. Her life is falling into place and mine is shattering slightly. It's being held together by threads some days. Regardless she was the girl I would drink with and always get into some little trouble (good trouble) with. We would cook dinner and drink wine, drink wine and snack, watch TV, chat and drink wine... come to think of it wine was a staple in most everything we did - I think the only time we did something not involving wine was shopping at Ann Taylor or when at Starbucks!

Tara helped me feel good again and make me feel better on a bad day and vice versa. When you are down you turn to your friends for a little lift and they certianly lift you.

Thanks Chrissy for making me remember the good times Tara and I had. We talk every day but it isn't the same and I miss that sometimes but your post made me think of those good times and the memories are good enough to get me through (with some wine of course!). :-)

Who are your friends you turn to in times of a little recharge?

Blind Date

You have all been emailing me waiting for this update. I apologize it wasn't sooner - life has been crazy.

The date was ok. G and I spent the day shopping for the right sweater to go with my dress and then the right jewelry and for her the right whatever she wanted! I came home, took a mini nap and then showered and got ready. It was cool so I opted for black pants and a black sleeveless top and the new sweater. G picked me up, we picked up her man and then on our way to get my date for the night. He has two HUGE dogs. He got them settled and off to dinner we went.

He is nice. A little shorter than me (bummer), mid 30's, owns his own house and company - so settled. The limited conversation we had - most of it involved our friends, etc. he seemed decent. However he did feed me bites of his food, talk about future plans for the 4 of us and wanting to go to sporting events, etc. I know...not all harmless but was a bit "too much" for me because he seems like the guy who would three days later call and say he has front row tickets to a game.

Sunday G dropped me off flowers from him. Guess he got them Saturday but in the haste of trying to settle his dogs, etc. he "forgot." Nice flowers - expensive! I know I should be happy...he is nice and everything was nice but it was a little overwhelming for me. He has called me a few times since but we haven't connected much. I need to tell him to back off a bit.

I feel guilty about how I feel but I am entitled to my feelings. Will I give him another shot - sure but I can't say I see much of a future with him.

Cast or No Cast... That is the Question.

I have a blind date Saturday night. G and her bf are setting me up with their friend. Yes, I trust them to set me up again. The question came up though, are you wearing your cast?? My inclination is no, don't wear it but I am also afriad not to. Remember, it isn't the prettiest thing to wear. If I don't wear it I am limited to a certain shoe though - flip flops and low one too, not ones with height. Trust me I wish I could wear a shoe on it...the UGGS won't even fit!!!! (I know trauma!!!)

So the question goes out to you, should I go without? And be honest. Can I go without, sure. Will it eventually cause some pain - most definitely and I can't take a pain pill until I go home so I can sleep. Why me??? Why now??? (ok, this is the most traumatic thing in my life right now so let me complain a little. I know it is not life threatening but still...)

Love

"All I want to do is fall in love" spoken so eloquently by Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Those words can't be any truer to how I feel, that is all I want. Is it so wrong to want to fall in love?? To find that guy who makes me happy, makes me smile when I am mad, helps me laugh at myself, hugs me when I need it, makes me cry, is willing to hold my shopping bags and can deal with my family?? Ok being nice, respectful, honest and caring are good too, hard worker, dedicated, driven helps as well.

There was a time growing up I thought I would marry my best friend... when you think of it, how many male best friends have you had that you didn't marry?? I can think of three. I think someone who is or can be your best friend is still a good way to go, they know you inside and out and can finish your sentence and if you marry someone who isn't and if you remain friends with your friend, jealousy may ensue. I pictured being married by 26 and a few kids by 30. Well I am 26 and not married and honestly ok with that.

It is funny to look back on what you want when you are a kid. I am much better at being me than being a married me. By the time I settle down I know I will be ready. I will know exactly what I want and I won't have to say "what if" (ok, I hope). I will be better able to walk into a marriage knowing who I am as a person and not willing to compromise. So my life plan I had when I was 12 isn't the journey I am on now. Somewhere along the line work came first and for that I am thankful - new journeys and struggles make me stronger. With each new journey leads me down a new path which I know will lead me to settling down with the person I am meant to settle with. Question is where do I find him? What path do I go down? (Funny how we always want the answers even when we aren't supposed to be looking!)

So in the words of Carrie Bradshaw "All I want to do is fall in love" but right now I am pretty content with me.

Keep on Blogging

When someone starts a blog it is for various reasons. Some start it to stay in touch with family and friends because they move around or the respectives move, others to write about something they are passionate about - shopping, fashion, games, books, etc. and lastly others do it for the heck of it (I guess). I wrote mine for two reasons - I was asked to document my crazy dating life by people in my spin classes and second it was a good way for my friends who aren't so close anymore to keep tabs on what they used to be my "wing women" for. It since has turned into something I can use to solicit opinions, complain about work, share thoughts and ideas and in general express myself. When you write for a specific audience and make it public on the web, you think "some other people might read this to" but you don't let that bother you. We all have similar issues, so you start thinking "I hope people get this or can relate." I got a comment on one of my previous posts from someone I do not know who said they like reading my blog. That made me feel good about what I am doing. It was never intended to be this "big" thing but being a writer I love this and find it is a great way to document all life has to dish out at you - the good, bad and in between. I am definitely a "doer" meaning I need to try things - failing or succeeding at them - in order to get it. So it is nice when someone says what you are doing is good, even if it isn't who you initially had in mind.

So, for those of you who read this - thank you! I hope my writing has resonated with you in some way to keep you coming back. As the public relations/marketing mind in me if you too have a blog, I would be more than happy to promote it on my site, as long as it is not offensive to anyone.

Keep on reading and enjoy.

Dating Tip

The original idea for this blog was to discuss my dating life... right now becuase of my foot it is a little lacking right now but I came across a good tip for everyone and I promise to try and remember it myself. Do Not go on a blind date with a new guy in a hotel bar. Even if it is classy and chic. You don't want to have a good time, drink too much and let him convince you to go upstairs.

And I move on...

September has come and reared it's ugly head. I officially know it is time for a change. A new spinning director started at my gym and he is taking away my Tuesday night class for me to have a chance to "rehab" my ankle but he can't say when I will get it back. That's crock of bull - his three friends take my class and that is why he is taking it over. Sense some bitterness???

On a different note, last week was extremely busy for me with work, working late into the evening at the office and home and then coming in early. Friday I was able to leave here at 5:30 and be done with odd hours for a while. Saturday found me teaching a class at the club, doing a little grocery shopping, running errands with mom, shopping with Gina in which I agreed to another set-up so that is this coming weekend and then dinner with nana. After dinner I came up and zonked out by 9 p.m. I took a pain pill and was done until 8:30 Sunday morning. Then up and out for brunch with nana, a little more shopping - solo this time - and then home. Max, my puppy, and I laid on the couch and watched football only to wake up around 4:30. Geeze, I forget when I am in pain all I do is sleep. So the weekend was uneventful but busy and relaxing.

It is Monday AM and I am here at work with my coffee and a list of things to do before I leave at noon. I have a bone scan on my ankle today which takes 5 hours!!!! I get an IV injected in, sit around for a few hours and then get my scan for just over hour... how fun!!! Just what I wanted to do, spend my afternoon in a hospital. Oh well, I am determined by Christmas I can be the tree with all the xrays, tests, etc. I have had I will be glowing soon. Oh well, life will go on.

Hey, everyone have a great day and will check back soon. Just think, I have lots of meetings, "drink meetings," dinners out and finally another set-up to keep you posted on throughout the week!!

It's September

It is September and the chill of fall can already be felt in the wee morning hours. Summer is due back for a few days this weekend, but this is when we start to relaize those days are going to be few and far between until next year. When I start drinking hot coffee again you know there is a chill in the air on my ride into work.

Today is the day I start new things. I start focusing back on me and my sanity. In my new job (not so new anymore) I have watched my weight creep up slightly and with my foot being in a cast, that has added but that isn't an excuse - neither is working too much or always being on the go. I realized yesterday that if I can reorg my life around running a marathon I can certainly lose a few pounds. It just means going back to being diligent and being honest with myself. It isn't failure if I go off track, the key is to get right back on - it is feedback, not failure. I planned on getting up early and going to lift some weights but that didn't happen - passed out at 9:30 and never set my alarm for the gym, needed the sleep. So tomorrow is another day :-)

A quick note on the ankle - I will be going for a bone scan. From what I hear this is a few hour procedure to have the IV pass into the blood system, drink some fluids to flush me out and then lie on a table for 1 hour to scan my body. This is the real deal test - tells me if I have cancer, fractures, arthritis - anything. Ok, so I do have arthritis there, that is visible on my MRI and CT scan. Arthritis that was caused by the bone...love it! As always, will keep you updated.

In the meantime I am enjoying my "back to school" philosophy and hope it continues.

Labor Day Wknd recap

So this weekend was the most relaxing to date. You have to know that I kick off summer with a lobster/clam bake and I am always determined to finish summer that way. So this Sunday you could find me relaxing in the pool and then cooking up a storm of lobsters, clams, steamers, corn on the cob, clam chowder, potato and macaroni salad and then we ate some else's freshly made blueberry pie, oh don't forget the wine too...lots of that!

Monday found me running a few early morning errands with mom then out by the pool in the afternoon. Another little bar-b-que last night to close off the last unofficial weekend of summer.

It is sad to know the summer is coming to a close. I did not have a very exciting or eventful summer and my fall will be the same. I am hoping next year will be better. I hope to run again (babysteps - no marathons right off), bike, summer at the Cape and the lake, boat and do all things that excite and motivate me. This summer I was nothing more than a cranky, frustrated brat who had every right to be. I mean when you can't even walk the length of 6 neighborhood yards without being in a little pain you start to be ok with the crankiness. However, it is back to teh gym I go. I have decided with the summer fading I need to find my way back to the gym to do only what I can do...but as I tell my clients, something is better than nothing. I am turning 27 in 2 and 1/2 months and I want to be able to feel and look good.

Saturday of Labor Day Wknd

Just a quick check in to say "wow, what a day!" It was a bit on the cool side but the sun was nice and warm. Tonight is a perfect chilly night to sit by a fire. With a light fleece and bermuda shorts on I feel like I should be walking along the beach with a nice glass of wine soaking it all in. Of course, the boot gets in the way of the "perfect" picture.

OK, take care I am off for a glass of wine by the fire pit and pool (take what you can get)!!